The study of neighbors through their porch decorations… During repeated investigation, the yard arteologist quickly spots variations on themes in yard artistry. A wintertime favorite in the more nostalgia-accessible neighborhoods is the porch sled. It is probably safe to say that any yard artist who finds sweet sentiment in these…
The study of neighbors through their lawn ornaments… Figure 44, views a & b. Jefferson Park: Sculpture suggests that “Thunderbird” is the guardian “spirit” of the drunken songbird of soul music. At first glance, the yard art pictured in figure 44 appears to be a South Korean animator’s rendition of…
“Whether it’s a beer bong, the lawyer for the teacher’s union or an auditorium full of pissed-off parents, your success will be determined by how much you can swallow.”…
As the Grand Marshal and chief sponsor, the American Furniture Warehouse owner will bring a fresh new look to the 2009 Parade of Lights… Jake will lead the glittering festivities dressed as Santa Claus and will ride in a Florence Italian Leather Club Chair sleigh pulled by Rudolph, the red-nosed…
People often turn to animals for the joys of love and nurturing. However, judging from the number of missing pet signs hung on streetlights around town, it seem that sometimes things just don’t work out. Penwyn, the parakeet pictured in the poster above, has literally flown the coop and a…
If ski towns do start setting up skier speed traps on lower mountain ski slopes, the manufacturers of ski paraphernalia will just offer laser-jamming ski parkas and radar-detecting ski helmets…
The study of neighbors through their lawn ornaments… Figure 43. West Wash Park. One gnome goes down while another gets mounted. Gnomes were first introduced to gardening in the mid-1800s by a German ceramicist who sold his decorations to local gardeners based on their reputations of being “nocturnal helpers of…
“We want a high-tech-savvy, personal-trainer-type male model to play an up-market Cherry-Creek-quality kind of Santa Claus. We’ll want your talent agency to supply us with a fresh new Santa every day, but don’t send any males over the age of thirty; they frighten the children.”…
The Winter in the City program is an effort to warm up to suburban shoppers by showing them how “Denver has seen the light!” The evening begins at Union Station with a visit from “Concealed-Carry Claus.” He will be packing a 500-magnum “candy cane” as a promise of protection to…
In gold or platinum, most effective when used during day-after-Thanksgiving, door-buster sales events…..
The study of neighbors through their lawn ornaments… Figure 42. West Colfax: Black Madonna shows her hand. Religious refugees and indigenous oddballs have always found a welcome home in the West Colfax neighborhood. It’s the kind of immigrant-rich enclave where the Black Madonna would feel right at home…
Blue Sky Collective artists Lori Clayton and Kathy Nutt join Jessica Noonan at Hootenanny Candies and Tea… “Lori, Kathy, the bad news is that the artist collective must vacate the premises by December 1. The good news is that it still gives you two plenty of time to unload your…
The wish lists are out, and with only five more weeks until Santa’s arrival, here’s a preview of the season’s most popular playthings… Baby Teabagger® Exersaucer: Kids will also enjoy the Easy-Money printer and Little Tokes marijuana playset, on view below:…
Handmade decorations allow celebrants to use traditional holiday images to craft deeply personal messages. In the painting pictured above (spotted on South Cherokee Street), the typically pudgy Santa Claus appears as a muscular hunk who wears a sexy off-the-shoulder tank top and summons that special someone with a glowing hand…
Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue Lego Systems moose-hunting snowmobile helicopter… Assembly required. Choking hazard…
The study of neighbors through their lawn ornaments… Figure 41. North Capitol Hill: Bent-out-of-shape bronze beauty emerges from blow hole. After hours of careful examination, the bronze statue pictured in figure 41 appears to be either a narcoleptic ballerina riding a stair-stepping machine across a small pond backwards, or a…
“Dan, please stop joking on air that the new National Weather Service Station, located near the 12th tee at City Park Golf Course, is reporting ‘hail-sized golf balls.’ You’re confusing our senior viewers!”…
The tiara-topped, oversized red guitar sitting on the new Westwood welcome sign seems to have magically appeared out of nowhere last weekend, but it has actually been over ten years in the making. The newly landscaped corner lot where Morrison Road meets South Sheridan Blvd. was originally part and parcel…
This week’s Westword cover story is a cartoon by Kenny Be celebrating 25 years of the Independence Institute. See the cartoon on the Latest Word blog…
The study of neighbors through their lawn decoration… Figure 40. College View: Where art takes over the swings. Originally known as Goat Hill, College View has been home to Locavores and Ecotarians long before urban farming was considered hip. This is the neighborhood where Dardano’s Flowerland, the locally grown flower-bedding…
Editor’s note: This week’s Westword cover story is a cartoon by Kenny Be that celebrates twenty-five years of the Independence Institute. Check it out in its entirety below:…
