To Hell with the Overpriced Eggs: Ten Egg-Free Breakfasts

Starting back in the 1970s, a decades-spanning ad campaign by the American Egg Board (yes, there is such a thing)  was launched that spent tons of money getting Americans to remember “the incredible edible egg” — complete with annoying jingle — when we were deciding what to eat for breakfast…

Fifteen Funky Food-Related Gifts for the Holidays

So you’re hard up for gift ideas this year, like you are every year, because ‘tis the season to stress over who gets what on your holiday list. You don’t know what anyone wants, so shopping sucks. You want to look like you’ve put some thought into it, so cash…

The Ten Manliest Thanksgiving Dishes

Last week we brought you a list of the of the manliest candies — those sweets that prove the presence of cojones of some sort or another. In honor of the most grateful day in American culture, we now present readers with a Thanksgiving edition. (You’re welcome.) To serve your family the…

Seven Ways to Spend Thanksgiving Alone in Denver

Let’s face it: Sometimes you’re all by yourself. Maybe you’ve just suffered a break-up, and everyone else is still paired up. Maybe your family is an airplane ride away that you know you’re going to take in December anyway, and going to all that trouble for one meal just doesn’t…

The Ten Manliest Candies Ever

In the most recent Esquire, Chris Jones extols the virtues of Jujubes, calling them “the only candy a man should eat.” This, of course, is utter bullshit, as are his claims that they should be pronounced “joo-joobs,” which is only slightly less precious than referring to Target as “Tar-zhay.” Jujubes…

10 teen pop stars who fell from the public’s grace

Lindsay Lohan may or may not go to prison (again) because she may or may not have assaulted a staff member of the rehab facility she’s staying in. Her parents must be so proud. Oh, wait…never mind. Lohan, whose music career was brief and mostly predicated upon cleavage, joins a…

Seven celebrity chefs who would make great zombies

What with the Food Network and the proliferation of culinary personalities all over the place, do you ever wonder what those folks might do in a zombie apocalypse? They’d die, of course. And then become zombies themselves. But what then? They’d do what they’ve always done, obviously. They’d annoy the…

Ten greatest monster songs that are not ‘Monster Mash’

So October (or Monstober, if you’re into annoying nicknames) is the month of monsters, when we take an evening to support kids in dressing up like their favorite killing beast and threaten neighbors for candy, and adults in dressing like sexualized versions of traditional nightmares at parties. So it makes…

The ten best candies when you’re stoned

Okay, so you’re high. And you’ve got the munchies. And this is October, so there’s candy everywhere at the store. So you grab a bag of fun-sized fun, and you take it home to the buds with whom you share your bud. And you enjoy the candy, of course, but…

Seven Reasons American Idol Should Be Canceled

American Idol has been around for eight years and going on ten seasons. And really, anything has a natural life span, and television shows, for the most part, live theirs in close to dog years. Like Great Dane years. Which means, essentially, that American Idol is long in the tooth…

Seven horrible ways to ruin chili

Granted, chili is something of a sacred thing — and the nature of that sacredness varies, depending on where you were brought up, and what your grandma ladled into a bowl. Still, there are some things that you can do to chili that seem like anathema, whether or not you…

The Seven Best TV Shows Set in Colorado

Television shows tend to be set on the coasts — in California or New York, usually. Anywhere else, and the show is often about that place as much as the characters: Miami in Miami Vice, Cleveland in The Drew Carey Show, or Cicely, Alaska, in Northern Exposure. So it is…

Ten dolls whose glassy, unblinking eyes will haunt your dreams

Some people are scared of Barbie and her seemingly anti-feminist position in pop culture. And those people are just plain terrified of Bratz dolls and their big-eyed whorishness. But some dolls… some dolls aren’t disturbing because of your social views, or for reasons having to do with the ways you…

Top ten “ethnic” foods that aren’t really ethnic at all

What’s for dinner? Whatever the answer, it’s probably got an ethnic origin–or a supposedly ethnic origin. Because many of the foreign foods that we all enjoy aren’t really very foreign at all. In other words, you can cross these ten dishes off your list, because, frankly, they’re all just as…

Weirdest Breakfast Cereal Pop Culture Tie-Ins

Marketing stuff to kids is pretty easy — which is why the government prevented tobacco companies from doing it — even subtly, supposedly accidentally — a few years back. McDonald’s Happy Meals are the latest to feel their knuckles rapped by this particular ruler — the obesity epidemic among kids…