Ten summer camp movies summer campers shouldn’t see

Sending your kid off to summer camp can feel pretty magical to parents — they get to have some fun, after all, and you don’t have to feel guilty about getting some long-overdue personal time. Maybe a short adults-only vacation, or just some quiet in the house instead of the…

Seven things non-geeks should know about Iron Man

Maybe you knew enough about Spider-Man not to embarrass yourself. And yeah, most folks know the basics of Batman. And seriously, even my grandma knows Superman well enough to carry on a decent conversation. But Iron Man? Even with the first movie under your belt, what with the fog of…

On 4/20, the best pot references in kids’ shows

Kids’ shows have always had small jokes designed to go over the heads of the little ones and appeal to the parents in the audience. Or if not the parents, at least to the creative teams on the shows themselves, as they try to stave off serious depression after realizing…

Top 10 creepy movie bunnies, in case you want to ruin Easter

Easter isn’t a holiday that’s rife with media and art devoted to it. There are few TV specials of which to speak. Save for Christian rock stations, no radio stations devote 24 hour coverage to Easter songs (which would pretty much amount to replaying “Easter Bonnet” and “Peter Cottontail” over…

Die, Bunny: An ode to crappy Easter candy

Everyone has their least favorite Easter treat–you know, the stuff you find in your basket year after year despite never liking the stuff, never eating it, and even leaving ol’ Easter Bunny a note kindly suggesting he spend a little more time on the candy aisle next year, or risk…

TV’s ten most insulting shows

NBC’s new show The Marriage Ref got a lot of promo time during the Olympics, which has more to do with the continuing power of Jerry Seinfeld than anything resembling real quality (although it deserves mentioning that host Tom Papa is both genial and funny, with a sort of a…

RIP: A dozen dead (or almost-dead) soft drinks

Soda, like most everything else in the world, has a lifespan. Some sodas live long and prosper, while others die and fade away (or, as is true of a few on this list, end up in the bargain section at Walmart). This list is devoted to those drinks that quenched…

Ten kid beverages you should totally still drink

Back when you were young, only taste mattered in terms of drink selection. Well, that and availability — i.e. what your Mom allowed you to have. But mainly it was taste — you weren’t thinking about caloric content, or artificial sweeteners, or the effects of too much caffeine on your…

Ten things not reported in Michael Jackson’s autopsy

The Los Angeles coroner’s office released Michael Jackson’s autopsy report this week, and the King of Pop proved he still had a few surprises up his red-leather sleeve. To note: He was thin (136 pounds), nearly bald (he wore wigs), and had tattoos (hairline, eyes, and lips). But these were…

TV’s 10 scummiest get-rich-quick schemers

Infomercial get-rich-quick schemes are a little like weight-loss scams: both of them take something that’s relatively simple — work more to make more money, eat less to lose weight — and pretend that there’s a magic path through all the time and effort and commitment it takes. It’s all about…

What your favorite lunchmeats say about you

Your bologna has a first name, and a second name. This is common knowledge. But it also has an opinion about you — one that it shares with the rest of the world, freely and without reservation. And bologna isn’t the only lunchmeat that does this. They all do it…

Like Conan’s Tonight, 10 TV shows that got screwed

Television, as Conan O’Brien will tell you, is a fickle business. They build you up, they use you up, they toss you aside. And sometimes the powers that be don’t even wait to use you up — they just decide that you’re done, for reasons that have little to do…

The 10 Most Pointless Christmas Foods

For the most part, Christmas is a time full of really good stuff to eat — from the fancy (Christmas dinner with all the trimmings) to the simple (cookies). But there are some foods and drinks that just don’t make sense anymore — they belong to a different time, in…

Christmas traditions that should really die now

Christmas is all about tradition: the tree, the presents, Santa Claus and, if you’re so inclined, that Jesus fella. But just because we’ve been doing it for so long doesn’t mean that it’s still a good idea. Some things are good: Christmas specials, family dinner, lights on trees, filled stockings,…

The ten worst stocking stuffers of all time

Stockings can be a favorite part of the Christmas experience, mostly because of the surprise factor: While kids often write Christmas lists that rank items by price, catalog page and level of absolute need, they don’t often bother listing stuff that is stocking-appropriate. So tearing through that comically giant, un-wearable,…

Top 10 emotionally disturbed Christmas songs

Christmas songs really ought to be up little tunes — hope, faith, charity, love and all that. But some songs have apparently snuck through the back door, drunk up all the rum, made a clumsy pass on pretty much everyone but the family dog, and are now holding court in…

Top ten ways we’ve ruined turkey

Admit it: There are really only two good ways to enjoy Thanksgiving turkey: fresh from the oven and carved on the table on the big day itself, and on sandwiches for days on end afterward. Everything else is more or less a sociological experiment — a study, perhaps, on just…

Thanksgiving traditions that should die. Now.

Every year, on a seemingly random day at the end of November, America celebrates Thanksgiving. (Canadians, as usual, get this completely wrong and hold it in October.) It’s a day of tradition, a day to give thanks. And a day, or so it’s become over time, that we all do…

Not-So Real American Heroes: The top ten fictional veterans

In honor of tomorrow’s Veterans Day, we’d like to honor not only those brave men and women that served our nation, but also those fictional souls that impressed upon us the spirit of valor, patriotism, sacrifice … and entertainment value. The few, the proud, the wartime characters of American pop…