It was a deeply and profoundly abysmal lasagna that I wouldn’t feed to an enemy. A few layers of limp pasta swimming in an acid bath of red sauce that would’ve embarrassed Chef Boyardee, stuffed with rank ricotta and topped with some desiccated parsley dandruff — are you kidding me?…
Serial bartender: It’s a scary concept. Okay, not nearly as frightening as Ted Bundy or some other serial types, but Oran Feild is almost as well known in this state. He could even go by one name, like Cher or Madonna. So when I entered Monarck, the latest alcohol-dispensing venue…
We here at the Institute of Drinking Studies are nothing if not conscientious. We advocate strict rules that govern the planning and execution of a night out, guaranteeing a successful recovery sometime the following week. For example, you must carefully choose venue, transportation, food intake, poison of choice, whom you…
We’d both woken up mad, the wife and I. Rolled out of bed pissed off, brushed our teeth pissed off, then gotten dressed pissed off, each under our own cloud of bad feelings and faulty neurochemistry. Wisely, we tried to avoid each other, to keep our two clouds from bumping…
Sean Yontz has been at Mezcal (see review) from the beginning. He wrote the menu, tinkered with the recipes and staffed the kitchen. These days, he’s in the house three, sometimes four nights a week. Thing is, he doesn’t really work at Mezcal. He isn’t a partner, doesn’t have a…
“You’ve never had Hpnotiq? Hpno’s the shit, dog!” said Dave Herrera, a man recognized more for his music knowledge than for his cocktail choices. “Drink Hpno and you’re gonna be bangin’ with Dre by the end of the night.” Hpnotiq, also known as “blue juice,” has been a favorite of…
This is my favorite time of year. By early September, the temperature’s cooling off, football is dominating more and more of SportsCenter and every other sportscast, and vicious campaign advertisements start showing up on TV. With the close presidential race and a hotly contested Colorado senatorial campaign, I foresee spending…
It was a knee-jerk New Yorker’s reflex that led me to Famous Pizza. Make that Famous Pizza #1. “The Original Famous Pizza,” as spelled out on the front window and the menu. Opened by Gus Mavrocefalos in 1974, this joint has been operating out of its crooked storefront for thirty…
I’ve never understood the draw of gummy Chicago deep-dish, and I loathe those smart-ass nouveau California cracker-crust abominations. I’ll choke down a cornmeal-dusted New York thinny if no other options are available, though, and have been known to flirt coquettishly with an occasional buttery New England pan pie the same…
There are two types of people — those who love the Palm, and those who don’t understand why other people love the Palm. I was a member of the latter group when I lived in Manhattan, and craggy, ancient salesmen would take me to the original Palm on Second Avenue…
Life is full of unending battles. Hitting your ideal weight and body habitus; making the perfect Bloody Mary; sending a politician to Washington who displays a range of emotions greater than an ear of corn’s and is more concerned with doing the right thing than with planning his future book…
What’s that?” asks the young Vietnamese guy sitting at the table across from mine. He brings his hands together, palms touching, then opens them — miming the book I have in one hand. I raise it up off the table and show him the cover — it’s my well-thumbed copy…
Breakfast King has finally completed its promised remodel — but if you didn’t know what to look for, you could miss it, easy. The 24-hour hash joint that’s squatted for decades in the shadow of the old Gates Rubber plant still has the same funk — that weird, one-two punch…
Certain tastes and smells take you back to a specific time in your life, sometimes even when you don’t want to go there. I dropped by Tryst — a lounge whose masterful design created sophisticated space out of thin air in Writer Square — on a trip to check out…
Things have officially gotten out of hand in America. Entering Super Target the other day with my daughter, Allison, I noticed a prominent display of the next entry in the Hello Kitty line of kids’ stuff, which already includes keychains, videos, crayons and oil filters. This latest development: thong underwear…
The kitchen at Zengo is a mess, a riot of white jackets, ice and fire. I count six, eight, maybe as many as ten cooks bouncing, spinning in place, shuffling plates and pans and sheet trays; hear raised voices — no particular words, just the sharp cadence of a chef…
Six weeks have passed since Colorado’s new booze legislation took effect — the give-a-little/take-a-little double whammy of decreased blood-alcohol levels for drunk-driving offenses (a .08 limit now, down from the somewhat more forgiving .10) and the legalization of take-away wine. Prior to July 1, diners constantly faced the Sophie’s Choice…
I don’t know if it was the cocktail waitress’s cheerleader voice or the fact that she called me “ma’am” three times prior to actually delivering my drink, but I detested her from the start. At what point do you become a “ma’am” or a “sir”? Yes, I was significantly older…
It’s human nature to try to improve upon past accomplishments. We strive to improve our work skills, our time in the mile, our driving so that we don’t singlehandedly snarl traffic on Colorado Boulevard from I-70 to I-25, our dancing moves so that we can approach all the soul displayed…
My buddy Gracie and I have this map — a U.S. highway diagram torn from the front of an old Rand McNally atlas, showing all of the major interstate routes spooling out across the fruited plain. From I-95’s start in Florida’s malarial salt bogs to the terminus of I-90 in…
Questions for “Ask the Critic” have come from all corners of the restaurant cosmos this month. A sampling: Q: Enough about Sean Kelly. Whatever happened to Denver’s other famous chef named Sean — Sean Yontz? I know that Vega closed, but is he cooking anywhere now? — Michael A: Good…
Vodka Mortini Morton’s 1710 Wynkoop Street 303-825-3353 Shaken, not stirred — James Bond was on the money. Scientists at the University of Western Ontario have found that shaking a martini increases the antioxidant activity in the drink, which in turn reduces the drinker’s risk of cataracts, strokes and cardiovascular diseases…
