Simple Pleasures

Japanese cartoons are lysergic-acid freak shows of giant robots and big-eyed children, blinking lights and talking cats, and jumpy, herky-jerky dancing-root vegetables. Japanese porno is vile and fetishistic. Japanese punk music is ten times more screechy and primal than that of any teenage American garage band — often reduced to…

Bite Me

While out wandering a few weeks ago, I stumbled across the Bugling Bull Trading Post out on Highway 67, west of Sedalia, where I had one of the best orders of country-style ribs of my young life. Granted, I wasn’t looking for ribs: I’d muscled the car off the road…

Drink of the Week

After a game of golf out by DIA, friends suggested a drink at the nearest bar: Outback Steakhouse. Hey, any port in a storm. But the second I stepped inside, my disdain for mid-level chain restaurants came flooding back like a repressed memory. Can someone please explain to me how…

Drunk of the Week

Happy hour is one of the greatest inventions in history. If you’re really honest with yourself, I think you’ll agree that only wide-screen TVs, frozen pizza rolls, propane barbecue grills and Victoria’s Secret compare. And like the last of these, happy hours have had a major social impact, giving first…

Patty Melt

Cheeseburgers are the single most recognizable American contribution to the world culinary scene (and, according to a monument on Speer Boulevard, an actual Denver invention). They’re also the ideal thing to eat on a blazing-hot afternoon. So last week when the temperature hit 97 degrees, I hit the road for…

Bite Me

What can I tell you? Clair de Lune is definitely not going to make it through the summer.” I’ve been waiting for this call for weeks. Not sitting by the phone, exactly, but knowing it’s coming. And when it does, it’s like hearing that the relationship is finally over. Like…

Consumed

Her father may have seen “Fire and Rain,” but food prepared by Sally Taylor never sees a flame. Or a pot of boiling water, for that matter. Since opening Sally in the Raw last month, Taylor — the daughter of James Taylor and Carly Simon, and a musician in her…

Drink of the Week

A large Buddha behind the bar in the Tom Tom Room, formerly the site of Tommy Tsunami’s, was supposed to be enveloped in smoke, but after a few sputters and grunts, it was clear that the Buddha had performance anxiety. Happily, this was the only performance problem I experienced at…

Drunk of the Week

LoDo has bars for every mood. I have a favorite or two where, during football season, I start pouring down Bloody Marys at 11 a.m. Although they are harder to find, a few other LoDo venues are guaranteed to inspire such a night of debauchery that you want to drive…

Boulder Blahs

There are a few things that I like about Boulder and many that I don’t. For example, it bothers me that Boulder exists where it does, snugged up tight against the base of the Flatirons, frantically humping the leg of a mountain range that would be that much more splendid…

Bite Me

Just another bistro. You have no idea how much those three words piss me off. Just another bistro. How did the restaurant industry get so jaded that those three words would ever seem thinkable, much less appropriate? While eating at The Kitchen (see review), I somehow stumbled blindly across one…

Drink of the Week

In Mexico, I do what every travel guide tells you not to do — I eat food bought on the street. Have I gotten sick? Yes, very. Was it worth it? Absolutely. At the restaurants that cater to the vacationing hordes, you can’t find any of this street fare –…

Drunk of the Week

Q: What does the Institute of Drinking Studies recommend after a monumentally bad week? A week that leaves you bruised, battered and trying to get the footprints off your back from life running roughshod over your carcass? A week where the only thing that keeps you going is the thought…

Adventures in Eating

I believe that life, in all its brutish, stupid grandeur, is the ultimate extreme sport. Forget mountain biking, snowboarding and base jumping. You just haven’t lived until you’ve Indian leg-wrestled a hungry Russian grandmother over the last fistful of peel-and-eat shrimp bobbing in the melted ice at a Chinese buffet,…

Bite Me

Shrimp and chicken shao mai; steamed duck spring rolls dipped in warm soy; short ribs with red onions in a scallop sauce; a whole striped bass, split, head and tail mounted on opposite ends of the plate and served with the tender filets soaking in a gingered soy broth. While…

Drink of the Week

I hated all card games as a kid, but the true bane of my existence was the mind-numbing Go Fish. Even before I started losing brain cells from a combination of booze, age and bad genes, memory was never one of my strengths. And now the Go Fish Grille –…

Drunk of the Week

Every day, it becomes increasingly obvious that those in power count on citizen apathy to let them skate by with policies that pander to special interests and are out of touch with the average American. How else can you explain the continued presence of Katie Couric and Oprah; 24-hour news…

Send in the Crowds

Saturday night should be busy. Cute place like this, good food, service that’s old-American doting without being old-French smothering — Dario’s Restaurant should be running the edge of a full house, playing the curve of table turns so that every party leaving brushes shoulders with the next one coming through…

Bite Me

Some weird geopolitical analogies about the shifting influences of power and turf can be applied to Denver’s ever-changing restaurant scene. Not so much by the big openings and closings and the movements of recognizable chefs and restaurateurs, but by the constant shift and wiggle of the little guys. Ethnic eateries…

Drink of the Week

After too many jobs that required way too much travel, I try to avoid hotel bars. They depress me. They’re usually filled with smoke and professional salesmen who spend 90 percent of their lives on the road and typically believe that their marriage vows are legitimate only within a hundred…

Drunk of the Week

Whatever happened to customer service? Bars don’t have Guinness on tap. I get soggy fries at McDonald’s. If I’m out eating with five other people, the restaurant assumes that group-think has ruined our math skills and tacks a 15 percent tip on the tab even though we probably would have…

Bland of Enchantment

Of Earth and Spirit is how I describe my style of cooking. The foods chosen are pure and of the Earth; they are intended to be food for the spirit as well as sustenance. They have been prepared for generations by the distinctive combination of Native, Mexican and Spanish flavors…