They came in the dead of night, ready for war, in a rented minivan. They wore rubber gloves, hats, surgical masks and special-issue combat Birkenstocks, forsaking their customary Phish concert T-shirts and Guatemalan peasant dresses for basic black — the formalwear of today’s fashionable domestic terrorist. They marched in grim…
Fruitcake vendors swear by Christmas, and turkey sellers depend on Thanksgiving. But Phil Kellogg lives for Halloween, which is also National Caramel Apple Day. Phil and his mom, Linda Kellogg, are the folks behind the Daffy Apple, a caramel-coated fruit that’s tickled local fancies every fall for fifty years. But…
In swank locales around the world, it’s common to see distinguished-looking older gentlemen escorting young, buxom blondes. And high in the hills of Aspen last weekend, I found myself a benefactor that took great care of me: the Aspen Sugar Daddy. A specialty at the affluent, Western-style Range, this sweet…
Sitting at the Bull & Bush (4700 Cherry Creek Drive South) with several friends and co-workers, I indulged in my favorite stress-relieving activity outside of directly setting fire to taxpayers’ money: pondering all of life’s difficult questions. My thoughts were even more profound than usual, owing to the fact that…
Oh, I like this. It’s like having dinner in L.A. or something.” I blink, look around the room. “What?” “This place. I like it. It feels like we’re in L.A.” “Or something,” I reply, then lapse back into silence, feeling shifty and uncomfortable while trying — and succeeding, at least…
This just in: Griff’s Burger Bar at 742 South Broadway, for which I just professed my undying love (“Cheeseburgers in Paradise,” October 2), is no longer serving, well, anything. Early last Friday, just a day after my review hit the stands, Griff’s caught fire. It started in the kitchen, quickly…
With seventeen wines by the glass and a fully stocked bar, Max Burgerworks is no greasy spoon. Heck, if all burger joints were this inviting, maybe I wouldn’t be a vegetarian. But you don’t need to like meat to love Max Burgerworks. The other afternoon, I devoured a divine portobello-mushroom…
As if feeling like I had been hit by a Mack truck wasn’t bad enough, I had to wait for coffee on Sunday morning. I am not a patient guy by nature, but few things aggravate me more than amateur coffee drinkers clogging up the line with elaborate orders. For…
In the beginning there was the hamburger, and it was good. Back at the dawn of American cuisine (I’m talking the ’30s — the goddamn Paleozoic Era, foodwise) there was the hamburger, and all things sprang forth from it. Sure, we had our Betty Crockers with their apple brown betties,…
Friday is catfish day at Caro’s Corner (see review, page 71), where five bucks will net you a dozen nuggets. Besides burgers and the odd order of fries, catfish is the only thing that Jeffrey and Linda Patterson — Caro’s cooks, owners and sole employees — offer on their menu…
If you’re remotely familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous, you know that Jake Schroeder isn’t the first out-of-control drinker to trade alcohol for coffee. (There are more java-dependent people at an AA meeting than there are at a Starbucks employee convention.) But few reformed tipplers have taken addiction transferral as far as…
Having moved more than a dozen times over the past ten years, I can say with authority that the best way to settle into a new neighborhood is to visit a local watering hole, a place within walking distance that offers up cheap drinks in a friendly atmosphere. So after…
Thanks to too many beers, I have once again made a major breakthrough in the field of human sociology. And it was the Purple Martini (1336 15th Street), of all places, that helped me identify the fundamental problem between men and women. Before I reveal the information that will put…
People who say you can never have too much of a good thing just haven’t tried hard enough. It’s Saturday night — technically Sunday morning, but not by much — and I am lying on my back in the middle of my living room, all the lights out, with my…
Things are tough right now in the restaurant industry. Okay, things are always tough in the industry: That oft-quoted statistic (most recently quoted by Rocco DiSpirito during commercial breaks on The Restaurant) that nine out of ten restaurants fail in their first year isn’t an absolute number, but it isn’t…
I like a bar where the person on the stool to my right peruses the Wall Street Journal while the person on my left is entranced by a best-selling mystery. For cocktails in such a literate setting, book yourself into the Fourth Story Restaurant, on the fourth floor (of course)…
As I bellied up to the bar at LoDo’s Bar and Grill (1946 Market Street), I turned to my buddy and said, “I couldn’t be happier right now.” There were a couple of reasons for this. First, I’d just attended my ten-year Air Force Academy reunion. It was good to…
Tip down!” And the people cheer. Servers, cooks, busboys, regulars — those in the know — send up a loud, brief shout. Sometimes it’s “Thank you!” Sometimes it’s just “Yeah!” — but they always do it. Every time someone pokes a few crumpled dollars into the little treasure box by…
To recap the action thus far: Duy Pham — the chef who spent several years working the burners at Tante Louise (4900 East Colfax Avenue), then shocked the hell out of everyone with his amazing plates at Opal (100 East Ninth Avenue), then shocked us again this past spring with…
Beekeepers get a lot of things from the bees they raise: beeswax, honey, money. But Tom Theobald gets all that and more. “Life,” he says. “I get to participate in a unique natural system that really gives me a window into the workings of the whole natural world. And in…
My favorite fall activity is taking my dog on “leaf walks” in the mountains, spending cool afternoons collecting red and gold specimens for no reason other than that they’re pretty. Down in the flatlands, McCormick’s Fish House & Bar has come up with another way to celebrate Colorado’s gorgeous fall…
A woman can convince herself she’s in love in a matter of minutes. But only a guy who’s drunk can convince himself he’s in love in a matter of minutes — and pay for the privilege. This is exactly what happened on a recent night at Shotgun Willie’s (490 South…
