Mass Media

Over the past few months, there have been religious riots, killer floods, a full-scale war, a government overthrown, U.S. bombing and more religious riots in the Horn of Africa. Don’t feel too bad if you’ve been too distracted by news about The Real World: Denver and the iPhone to pay…

Forward Into the Past

While perusing the many booths at the National Western Stock show, my girlfriend and I stumbled upon a pellet-sized treat that we had not encountered since our teenage years, inspiring this zen-twister: Dippin’ Dots were once the ice cream of the future . . . now treat of the past?…

Do the Dude

Mike Wheeler, one-half of the Pleasures Dudes, knows what women want and what men need. This week’s feature story on the late-night scuz jockeys contained enough Wheeler wisdom to fill a chap book. Not all quotes made the cut, though, so here, for your reading pleasure, are Wheeler’s reflections on…

More Messages: The Don of Denver Radio

As noted in this week’s Message column, Don Howe could be the most aggressive radio executive in recent Denver broadcasting history — and as a result, he’s made plenty of enemies over the years. Among them is radio longtimer J.J. McKay, who co-hosted the morning show on rock-oldies outlet KOOL…

More Messages: Fryar’s Club

It’s not often when journalists go out of their way to praise scribes at rival publications. But today, Lynn Bartels (pictured), a consistently outstanding and refreshingly funny reporter for the Rocky Mountain News, did just that this morning, when she sent yours truly the following note: The best reporter at…

Absent Foxx

Actor/comic/singer Jamie Foxx’s appearance at the Colorado Convention Center, previewed in this week’s Backbeat section, has been put on hold. The show was originally supposed to happen on Saturday, January 13, but it’s now scheduled for Wednesday, April 4. Why? According to a press release sent out by Another Planet…

The Tree and Me

After being greeted by this same scene outside my door in northwest Denver for the third morning in a row, I was inspired to compose the following: I followed the rules But the tree man won’t cometh. Help me, 311! — Joel Warner…

Crock Block

Memo to Crocs Inc.: The Shoe Goddess wants her cut. Back in 2005, when Westword was trying to explain the surging global sales of hideous, crayon-hued plastic shoes designed in Niwot, we availed ourselves of the professional insights of the Shoe Goddess, a clog connoisseur who was on a vain…

More Messages: Changing the Scripps

After the Rocky Mountain News entered into a joint-operating agreement with the Denver Post several years ago, many newspaper-business observers predicted that, figuratively speaking, the Rocky would soon go from wrapping fishes to sleeping with them. Instead, the tabloid has stayed above water thanks in large part to the steadfast…

A Civic Mess — And It’s Not Snow

The results are in for the Daniel Libeskind-proposed redesign of Civic Center, and the public’s responses are being unveiled tonight at the Denver Parks & Recreation Advisory Board hearing. But you wouldn’t know that from the city’s website. There’s nothing on the city’s homepage, and if you click over to…

The Pleasures of Your Company

Michael Wheeler, one of the Pleasures Dudes, is riding the stripper like a horse. She scampers on her hands and knees while Mike slaps her butt and flails for the television camera. It’s just after 9 p.m. on a Tuesday — a slow night at Dandy Dan’s, which makes the…

Pitch, Pitch, Pitch

Every city has bargain-basement pitchmen: TV and radio hucksters who launch themselves into our living rooms with high-decibel sales pitches that confuse poor Grandpa and cause toddlers to shriek for quality pre-owned vehicles. The Pleasures Dudes may have carved their own peddling-porn niche, but their shtick follows a time-honored practice…

Here’s Howe

When discussing his approach to broadcasting, CBS Radio’s Don Howe is a model of civility. “I really believe that radio is a competitive medium,” he maintains, “and I feel it’s very fair to creatively compete to reach audiences.” In practice, though, Howe’s business philosophy is anything but polite. During the…

Textiquette

I have a friend whose name is Hot Gary. This is not his actual name, of course, but it’s my duty to protect his identity, so I’ll refer to him as Hot Gary — even though everyone knows his real name is Gabe and that he still lives with his…

Shred Alert

Although the snow is taking a mounting toll on the local economy, Denver is doing a booming business in secret snowboard trips, as boarders from across the country descend on the Mile High City to test its slickest rails and ramps, benches and bridges, then report their findings to national…

Letters to the Editor

“Paint the Town Read,” Amy Haimerl, January 4 Read Alert! What a truly awesome story! This is what Westword should be about — this article makes it interesting to live here, uncovering little-known bits about the city. It is actually kind of a relief from some of the more titillating…

Flame Out

This photograph, snapped by Kenny Be at the corner of Stout and Park Avenue West in late December, inspired the following: A burned-out building Not a good advertisement For fire and safety…

Peanut Envy

Circusized Peanuts. What a great name for a record. And as I remembered it, Peanuts was also a pretty kick-ass album. Not quite as good as Deadly Kung Fu Action — the classic Warlock Pinchers album, which contained the immortal ditty “Morrisey Rides a Cockhorse” — but pretty kick-ass nonetheless…

More Messages: Trojan Corpse

Today’s Spotlight section of the Rocky Mountain News included a regular feature — one of David Letterman’s signature top-ten lists. In this instance, the topic was “Top 10 Signs You Watched Too Much College Football,” and the final item read, “In bed, your wife says, ‘Get a Trojan’ — and…

Compacting

In The Graduate, a brain-dead fat cat famously advised Dustin Hoffman’s character to devote his professional career to “Plastics!” These days, however, up-and-comers would be well advised to stay away from this field — at least if they’d hoped to specialize in compact discs. Recently released 2006 sales figures from…

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Death Becomes You It’s death metal Tuesday at the Larimer Lounge. Okay, I made that crap up; there’s no official, on-going weekly theme at the Lounge. Nonetheless, that’s precisely what’s on tap — too much metal for one hand. Stop by tonight and have your ass handed to by Cryogen,…

Capitol Hill Billys

Today, just before lunch, Bill Ritter was sworn in as the 41st Governor of the Colorful State of Colorado. As el jefe nuevo of our square state, Ritter would do well to take a cue from the behavior of his predecessor, the illustrious Bill Owens, during his last days in…