Requiem Mourning becomes electric: Dave Herrera, your January 12 Beatdown was a beautiful article. I was sitting in a library to access my e-mail and got all choked up and teary-eyed in public. I am so sorry about the loss of your father. I lost my own dad (and best…
For some reason, Michael has taken his shoes off. He rubs his toes against the cold linoleum floor and giggles. “Are you going to mellow out, or are you going to be crazy like this all day?” “Crazy,” the six-year-old answers, turning up the end of the word like he’s…
The State Capitol was looking like a giant bruise at the start of this month — and the legislature hadn’t even gone into session yet. No, in the spirit of the holidays, Governor Bill Owens had ordered the place lit up for the first time in his seven-year tenure. But…
Like any good Colorado native, as a kid I was placed on a bus, Saturday after Saturday, and shipped off to the hills to learn how to ski. I do not recall requesting such a thing, nor do I recall being asked if this was an activity that I might…
Denver Post staffer Kevin Simpson was exhausted after completing December 18’s “Letting Go: Dylan’s Last Days,” a beautifully rendered tale about the agonizing decision by Dave Walborn and Kerri Bruning to withdraw life support from their young son, a victim of severe cerebral palsy whose condition was rapidly deteriorating. “You’re…
Downhill Eraser This boy’s life: Alan Prendergast’s “Throw It All Down,” in the January 5 issue, was the most amazing story I have read in years. I cannot believe how quickly his life went downhill. Rest in peace, Michael Lanahan. What a waste of a promising life! Laney Alvarez via…
Okay, so John Holly’s Asian Bistro in Lone Tree isn’t Super Star Asian (the incredible dim sum place at 2200 West Alameda) or the old Mee Yee Lin (another incredible dim sum place that became a merely passable dim sum place with great shu mai and incredible dumpling soup after…
That was a crazy game of poker I lost it all But someday I’ll be back again And I’m never to fall Never to fall never to fall. ‘Crazy Game of Poker,’ OAR The Messenger Billy Flores had just finished dinner with his grandparents in California when he checked his…
Shortly after 9 p.m. Wednesday, in those dull days between Christmas and New Year’s — days whose dullness can only be brightened by a couple of cocktails in LoDo — Off Limits was just pulling out of a parking spot on Wynkoop Street when we heard a tap on the…
Have you seen What’s So Funny around lately? If not, you haven’t been paying attention, sucka. Because I am what the kids call “on the scene.” Not a day goes by when you can’t catch me fox-trotting down the 16th Street Mall, deftly avoiding eye contact with the imploring homeless…
Burn, Baby, Burn Punk’d: In response to Patricia Calhoun’s “Hall of Shame” column in the December 29 issue, we of the alleged “hippie-kid collective” would like to say that we are not fucking hippies. Just today, we drank 42 beers and upper-decked a Whole Foods toilet. We are punks, dammit…
Shame was the name of the game in 2005. Just when it seemed this state’s bad behavior had gotten as low as it could go, the bottom dropped out — or, in the case of Bob Dougherty, the Home Depot party pooper, the bottom stuck smack in the forefront of…
Panty Raid Grand Marnier bases a national ad campaign on Vail’s infamous Panty Tree, which blooms annually with scores of colorful girls’ panties. The tagline for the ads, which begin running in Ski magazine, reads: “You Just Recognized a Pair of Panties in the Sun Down Bowl Tree…The Conversation Is…
Well, gang, it’s been one hell of a year, and What’s So Funny is officially spent. Really, we’re fucking exhausted. Beat. Sapped. Expended. Out of gas. It’s gotten so bad that we’ve simply started listing synonyms in an effort to make this column long enough to declare it finished –…
Just after midnight, the bus broke down outside Salina, Kansas. It was George Walker’s 24th birthday, but he wasn’t thinking about cakes or candles or celebrations or anything like that. He was thinking that he’d been on the Greyhound for almost two days, all 325 pounds of him stuffed into…
“My candies won’t make you fatter, only sweeter,” reads a sign tucked into the corner of American Country Candies’ one-room factory in Fort Collins. Lie. It’s against the fundamental makeup of candy — the candy’s essence, even — to not be fatty. But Andrea Kennedy looks like she hasn’t indulged…
Nothing says “happy holidays” like an ass-whose-ass-gets-glued-on-the-toilet tale. Inspired by Bob Dougherty’s harrowing experience when he sat down in a public restroom at a Louisville Home Depot (“The Butt of the Joke,” December 15), John Redding sent Off Limits the following rendition of “The Night Before (Behind?) Christmas,” a poem…
What’s So Funny was angry when the clerk at the ticket counter informed him that the plane to San Antonio was full and that he would not be able to switch out his middle seat. He muttered his way through security, sure that he would find himself sandwiched between some…
The day after the Denver Post published his goodbye (sort of) column, Woody Paige is in what’s become his element. Road-tripping ESPN staffers at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas are hustling him from the temporary home of Cold Pizza, the ESPN2 morning staple on which he’s a regular, to an…
Fanning the Flames Broncs cheer: On behalf of all Broncos fans not fortunate enough to live in Denver, shame on Adam Cayton-Holland for helping to destroy the magic and home-field advantage that used to resonate throughout the old Mile High (What’s So Funny?, December 8). It’s bad enough that he…
No one in City Park had ever seen anything like Alvin Maxie. In the summer of 1970, fresh from a twelve-year stint in the U.S. Army, he came rolling through town on a green British motorcycle, wearing knee-high moccasins and a Davy Crockett-style cap. Other black bikers hung out in…
Where’s one of the best places to shop in Denver if you shun crowded malls and bustling Wal-Marts? Why, Denver International Airport, of course. USA Today, along with Executive Travel magazine editor Janet Libert, recently ranked DIA one of the ten best airports for shopping, thanks to its “locally made…
