Metro Provost Gets a Steep Grade

Get well soon, Dr. Rocha. Just don’t come back. That’s probably the most civil way to characterize the sentiment among many faculty members at Metropolitan State College of Denver with regard to Provost and Vice President of Academic Affairs Rodolfo Rocha. School administrators hoped that Rocha, hired in the summer…

Buck Fush

“I think it’s been really disheartening,” says J. David McSwane about press coverage that’s swirled around the Rocky Mountain Collegian, the Colorado State University-based student newspaper he edits, since an opinion banner reading “FUCK BUSH” was printed in its September 21 edition. “As a journalist, I’m extremely frustrated.” He should…

Mapping the Future of Urban Sprawl

I’m going to show you a bunch of maps,” David Theobald tells the undergraduates packed into the small lecture hall. “Don’t get caught up writing down the numbers. I want you to get a couple of key points.” As a rule, maps and the numbers behind them are a matter…

A New Frontier

About fifty activists gathered late last month inside the Four Winds Survival Project building, a former Episcopal church now serving as a kind of town hall for Denver’s Native American community, to plan what they say will be a memorable protest of Denver’s annual Columbus Day Parade. It’s a yearly…

The Race Against Californication

This week’s feature about CSU geographer and public lands guru Dave Theobald arrives just as the Colorado Conservation Trust releases its third annual progress report on the state’s struggle to preserve its working farms and ranches, scenic and natural areas, and dwindling wildlife. And what a struggle it is. The…

Petition to the Rockies Concerning the Killing of Dinger

Whereas it is pre-emptively acknowledged that all sports mascots lose their appeal to right-thinking adults who have not sustained head wounds, and; Whereas it has become widely known that we here in Denver play home to the absolutely worst carpet-covered, shit-and-Febreze-smelling, sorry excuse for a cheerleading, anthropomorphized cartoon fossil, and;…

Dave Theobald Maps the Future

Dave Theobald, profiled in this week’s feature, “Mapping the Future of Urban Sprawl” has dedicated his professional life to charting and mapping development in Colorado. This state still has some wild places, but sprawl, natural resource development and recreation give growth an increasing upper hand in the Wildland/Urban Interface with…

Pardon This Rockies Interruption, Bitch

Most close games in sports are reported as one of two mutually exclusive options: Either this team won it or that team lost it. It was surprising, then, that ESPN’s Tuesday afternoon coverage of the greatest baseball game ever played in the mountain time-zone turned into a treatise on instant…

Looks Are Misleading at Cherry Crest Restaurant & Seafood

On a Saturday night, Cherry Crest Restaurant & Seafood Market is all business. There are twenty entrees on the menu, not counting pastas or salads; the chalkboards and dry-erase boards are full of daily specials; and the kitchen — an open hot-line arranged in a tight, cramped square — is…

Newspaper Seeks Libertarian For Editorial Love Match

Plenty of newspapers resist specifically labeling their editorial stance for fear of alienating readers of different political stripes or limiting their ability to respond to unforeseen events. But not the Colorado Springs Gazette, which clearly spells out its slant in this Craig’s List post headlined “Editorial Page Editor, Writer: Libertarian…

Rockies Baseball: Stranger than Fiction

Midway through the 13th inning, with the Padres beating the Rockies 8-6, I stepped out front for my umpteenth cigarette of the night and started thinking about the lede for this story. It went like this: On Earth Two, inside the recently discovered galaxy ESO 137-001, 200 million light years…

An Open Letter to Rockies Fans

October 2, 2007 Dear Rockies Fans, I take it all back. I mean it this time, too. To those of you who sauntered into sections 119 through 142 two innings late, toting toddlers you didn’t protect from foul balls while you sipped microbrews and talked about anything but baseball: You…

Hey Rockies: Ditch the Dinosaur

My sister, a baseball fan who’s married to another baseball fan, called me just after midnight in New York City. We’re watching the game, she said. Here’s a question. Is the Colorado Rockies mascot a pentaceratops that turns around behind the plate and wiggles his hands at the pitcher or…

They Still Need to Rebuild Bionic Woman

Jaime Summers, where are you? Sure, the protagonist of NBC’s new Bionic Woman is still named Jaime Summers, but sadly that’s all that’s been retained from the original 1970s classic. No awesome bionic-sounds when she runs. No awesome Oscar Goldman as her tough-nerd handler. No awesome, period. And I really…

Sick of Having No Health Insurance

“Are you going to smile? Are you going to say, ‘My health care sucks’?” Nathan Wilkes asked his son, Thomas, as his photo was snapped at the Capitol last Friday evening during a vigil for those who have died because they lacked insurance. Thomas suffers from severe hemophilia, a blood…

Pig Out

I feel the same way about pig roasts that I do my morning run: I like the idea of it, but the execution is rarely so satisfying. My first pig roast happened when I was a senior in high school. As student body vice president, I was charged with turning…

Delegating Denver #11 of 56: District of Columbia

View larger image District of Columbia Total Number of Delegates: 37 Pledged: 15 Unpledged: 22 How to Recognize a District of Columbia Delegate: Harry Truman said that if you want a friend in Washington, D.C., get a dog. John F. Kennedy said that D.C. is a town of southern efficiency…

Day One: Cuba Teaches Us Lesson Number One

HAVANA — It was just after midnight and although the last of the parade’s floats for Carnaval had already finished the route, the party was still popping with people dancing and drinking in the streets, all along the famous Malecon street, where all jiniteros’ eyes were on us. Jiniteros probably…

Dude, Where’s Your Car?

Denver Police Department Offense Report No: 07-652425 Date: 9-17-2007 Type of Offense: ??? Location of Offense: Squire Lounge Loss: $700 A male who will seemingly do anything to get laid files a police report claiming: “I met a woman at the Squire Lounge after talking for a while she asked…

The Colorado Rockies in the Red Zone

There’s a mathematical formula that tells you why the NFL is ten times more awesome than baseball: 10.2 to one, to be precise. At 162 games, the baseball season is obscenely protracted, loitering about longer than the green sticks on trees, until seven teams and the Yankees are left to…

More Errors From Rocky Mountain News Screw-up Specialist Bill Johnson

Rocky Mountain News columnist Bill Johnson has a well-founded reputation for factual sloppiness. This More Messages blog spotlights a July 11 Johnson offering with five separate botches and includes links to previous Message columns about several even more memorable trips he took to the inaccuracy minefield. As a result, the…