2009 was a tough year for the economy, newspapers and Mexicans

Dear Mexican: Why in the hell does everything have to be in English and Spanish? I ride the bus/train to work (not because I must, but because it’s more efficient), and every time someone requests to stop, you hear “Stop Requested,” then this parar bullshit! Not to mention the schools…

Mexican poetry and social analysis — seriously!

Dear Mexican: Can you recommend a solid, accessible history of California and Arizona so I can learn what really happened when the United States gobbled Aztlán? La Chica Confundida Dear Wabette: The holistic classic in this genre is Rodolfo Acuña’s Occupied America: A History of Chicanos, but it’s a bit…

Asia like it: Can I date a Mexican?

Dear Mexican: I’m an Asian female, and for some time now, I’ve been fascinated by the Mexican culture. I find Mexican males to be very attractive. Their food, language and music are just amazing! How much of a chance do I have dating a Mexican hombre if I’m Asian? Muchacha…

Like a Virgin of Guadalupe, dissed for the very first time

Dear Mexican: As a Chicano/Mexican, I have lost my faith in God. While they take pride in their country like everyone else and like to make frequent jokes, Mexicans are generally very humble (poor) people. Isn’t God supposed to be on the side of the poor and humble? Why is…

Mexican women are spicy — but are they hot, too?

Dear Mexican: Whenever I see an ad for a Mexican ramera, they always describe themselves as “spicy.” Are Mexican women hiding habaneros in their panochas? Concha Curious Dear Gabacho: “I wish I could say that ‘Mexican Spitfire’ Lupe Velez was to blame for the ‘spicy’ epithet so often associated with…

Run, don’t walk, to bastadobbs.com

Dear Mexican: Why do beaners or gabachos deliberately try to ignore white people and act like they’re not there, or when you’re walking by, the lady beaners laugh so hard with a repulsive fake laugh that you want to just punch them? Not only I have noticed this, but a…

Note to Salvis: Can’t we all just get along?

Dear Mexican: For most of my life, I was oblivious to the hate that Mexicans have for Salvadorans. I became aware of it when I made the huge mistake of marrying a Salvi. Once I became engaged to my Salvi girlfriend, or whenever I would tell any Mexican that I…

A lesson in Latino dropout rates

Dear Mexican: As a teacher, we’ve been exhorted to expand our efforts in closing the achievement gap between majority and minority students (read: Anglos and Mexicans). I teach all of my students in the best ways that I can determine for each individual student, within the constraints of a classroom…

Gabachos are clueless when it comes to Mexican Heritage Month

Dear Readers: Since the Mexican’s sister is getting married to a good man from Zacatecas this weekend, I must go slaughter a pig and hire a banda sinaloense. So indulge yourselves in some piratería questions I ripped off from my book and await my return next semana! Dear Mexican: Isn’t…

Checking in with our neighbors to the north

Dear Mexican: As a Mexican-American, I’ve lived in St. Louis for about seventeen years and have seen a substantial influx of my brethren. Nevertheless, I’m for border security — against the no-good, godless Canadians. I hate Canadians! Funny accents and cold weather — ha! Why is America not closing the…

Is Garfield offensive to Mexicans?

Dear Mexican: In “Garfield” strips in the funny pages that appeared earlier this year, Garfield is wearing a sombrero and taking siestas. While cute and all, isn’t that the sort of thing that we have been striving to stop? What was Jim Davis thinking? Maybe he needs a refresher course…

What will La Reconquista look like?

Dear Mexican: We gabachos get differing reports regarding the Reconquista. Some say it’s a genuine movement, well under way. Others claim it’ll never happen, but that it’s useful as a slogan that both antagonizes white America and energizes young Mexicans. Let’s say for now that it’s a genuine movement destined…

Get ready for Mexican Independence Day

Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans make the sign of mucho dinero with a gap between their thumb and index fingers, as if holding an imaginary wad of bills between both fingers? El Zorro Chupagringos Dear Gabacho-Sucking Fox: Because if a pendejo like you can get the gesture, imagine us normal…

The Mexican advises against rushing to the altar

Dear Mexican: I am a 22-year-old Mexican-American woman, still living with my parents but going to college, working full-time and taking care of myself financially. I grew up in a very traditional Mexican household, youngest of four kids, and we were all born in the United States. I’m unmarried, but with a steady boyfriend I have…

The Mexican: You ask, he answers

Dear Mexican: A gabacho in the local daily suggested that some of our prisons be outsourced to Mexico to save us some money. What are your thoughts? Would wabs make for good guards looking after homies and white-trash inmates? Have a chew on that taco. Mike the Mick From Missouri…

Verily, we ask: What would Jesus do?

Dear Mexican: My family hasn’t been long in this country, came here because of lousy treatment by other Europeans, and didn’t live close enough to the southern U.S. border to have exposure to Mexico or Mexicans. So anyone looking down on Mexicans can be mysterious to many of us who…

Who will dominate on August 12 — the U.S. or Mexico?

Dear Mexican: Why does El Tri act like pendejos every time the U.S. men’s national soccer team kicks its ass? They won’t even shake hands or exchange jerseys after the game, and they always act like the U.S. got lucky with the win, even though the Americans have destroyed Mexico…