Dear Mexican: I know that Mexicans and pochos can be black, white, Asian and indios, but I just got my United States Census form. Figured you would be the best person to ask about question #9-Race. I know I’m not white (I’ve been pulled over too many times for BS…
Dear Mexican: I just read that Speedy Gonzales is getting his own feature film and will be voiced by George Lopez. I read in the Hollywood Reporter that Lopez said he gave Speedy his “Latino Seal of Approval.” Who grants this seal? What does it look like, and how did…
Dear Mexican: By now, I’m sure you’re aware of all the hate crimes against Hispanics in the last few years. By now, I’m sure you’re thinking that this is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not ¡Ask a Hispanic! But let me tell you that all the hate crimes against Hispanics have been…
Dear Mexican: When I was in high school, everyone called the Mexican students like myself “cheddars.” I’m not sure where this originated from, or what it really has to do with Mexican culture. When I have asked other Mexicans what this means, they weren’t sure, either. “Cheddar packing” is a…
Dear Mexican: I’m a pan blanco and my wife is puertorriqueña. Our son looks basically white, while a casual observer might admit that there is some Latin going on there. I’m not sure how this pertains to my question — it may or may not be worth mentioning. Our son…
Dear Mexican: I am a lifelong resident of Arizona and have worked side by side with illegals for 25 years as a bloquero. In all that time, I never knew one of them to be an aspiring American. In fact, their loyalties remain with their home states, they listen to…
Dear Mexican: People talk about the costs of illegal immigration on our society. What about the savings? Has there been any research into how much more a meal at a restaurant would cost without Mexicans cooking and washing dishes? What percentage increase would we see with supermarket produce if migrant…
Dear Mexican: I’ve always been attracted to transgendered women since I was about thirteen. I’ve noticed, however, that most trannies are Hispanic. Now, before you say that this is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not ¡Ask a Hispanic!, I’ve also noticed that more than half of all Hispanic transsexuals are Mexican. What’s…
Dear Mexican: How can a formerly proud Latina like myself feel proud to be Mexican again after my beloved relative was murdered in Mexico by narcos while visiting? I still have love for my heritage, and I understand that many Mexican people live in desperate situations because they have no…
Dear Mexican: Why do so many Mexicans work for Taco Bell and El Pollo Loco? Don’t they know they only add a false credence to the belief that this is Mexican cuisine? The bastardizing of the truly great and diverse food of Mexico by the money-hungry corporations of the U.S.,…
Dear Readers: Siempre, the wisest words that appear in this column come from ustedes, y the following two cartas prove this maxim. The first one addresses my year-end column, in which a working-class gabacho insisted his people apapachan a Mexicans mucho: Dear Mexican: Half-Mexican here. I was fortunate enough to…
Dear Mexican: I’m surprised by the choice of the word “amnesty” by those who would demonize immigration reform, especially in the South. Doesn’t the modern well-being of many Southerners derive in some way from their ancestors’ having sworn to amnesty oaths, both before and after the Civil War? Isn’t it…
Dear Readers: The Mexican is still trying to shake off the Herradura from the previous year, so this week I’m reprinting a favorite from el pasado. To make up for my siesta, though, I’m bringing back the YouTube edition of this column, where I’ll take the questions of the non-anonymous…
Dear Mexican: Why in the hell does everything have to be in English and Spanish? I ride the bus/train to work (not because I must, but because it’s more efficient), and every time someone requests to stop, you hear “Stop Requested,” then this parar bullshit! Not to mention the schools…
Dear Mexican: Can you recommend a solid, accessible history of California and Arizona so I can learn what really happened when the United States gobbled Aztlán? La Chica Confundida Dear Wabette: The holistic classic in this genre is Rodolfo Acuña’s Occupied America: A History of Chicanos, but it’s a bit…
Dear Mexican: I’m an Asian female, and for some time now, I’ve been fascinated by the Mexican culture. I find Mexican males to be very attractive. Their food, language and music are just amazing! How much of a chance do I have dating a Mexican hombre if I’m Asian? Muchacha…
Dear Mexican: As a Chicano/Mexican, I have lost my faith in God. While they take pride in their country like everyone else and like to make frequent jokes, Mexicans are generally very humble (poor) people. Isn’t God supposed to be on the side of the poor and humble? Why is…
Dear Mexican: I used to frequent a cantina in Chicago where half of the bar was Polack, the other half beaner. The Polacks would speak in their native tongue and either start or finish all of their sentences with the word kurwa. I understand this to mean “whore” in their…
Dear Mexican: Why do white Americans buy into this Reconquista bullshit? I believe that these babosos talk about it more than Mexicans do. I have yet to meet a Mexican who is part of this “movement.” Every Mexican that I know has come to America to work, seek a better…
Dear Mexican: Why, oh, why do most Mexican women cut their long black hair after reaching the pivotal age of forty? Not only do they cut it, but they cut it short and proceed to dye it all shades of the most unnatural hair color for Mexicans: red. My own…
Dear Mexican: Whenever I see an ad for a Mexican ramera, they always describe themselves as “spicy.” Are Mexican women hiding habaneros in their panochas? Concha Curious Dear Gabacho: “I wish I could say that ‘Mexican Spitfire’ Lupe Velez was to blame for the ‘spicy’ epithet so often associated with…
Dear Mexican: Why do beaners or gabachos deliberately try to ignore white people and act like they’re not there, or when you’re walking by, the lady beaners laugh so hard with a repulsive fake laugh that you want to just punch them? Not only I have noticed this, but a…
