What your drink order says about you, according to Denver bartenders

Denver is one of the top bar cities in the country, and the city’s cocktail establishments increasingly have the backing to prove it: a top 10 ranking in a drinks industry publication, three Denver spots nominated for Best New Bar in the country by Tales of the Cocktail, national recognition from North America’s 50 Best Bars and the James Beard Awards.

With that comes drinkers who generally know their way around a cocktail menu. Having an abundance of places for great drinks doesn’t mean every order shows off what we have going here, though. We asked eight bartenders and beverage directors — at Work & Class, Gold Point, MAKfam, El Five, FiNO, Linger, Root Down and Harry’s American Bar — what a drink order tells them about the person ordering it. 

“There’s definitely ‘double IPA guy,’ but generally, when I try to ‘drink profile’ someone based on an order, I’m wrong more than I’m right,” says Ky Belk, bar lead at El Five. And people generally should just order what they like, says Stefan Zittel, lead bartender at Root Down. “I’m not gonna judge the bearded burly dude who orders a cosmo extra sweet. I got you, my guy.”

Still, some drink orders, or the way it’s ordered, can give the people behind the bar some indication of how the night is going to go.

The classics that still have a reputation

“The Long Island iced tea probably carries the strongest stereotype,” says Luke Cicero, a bartender at Harry’s in the Magnolia Hotel. “Bartenders tend to assume the guest is looking for the most alcohol possible in one glass, knowing that the night might get a little unpredictable.”

Old fashioneds used to come with baggage too. Now it’s just a good order, says Clarissa “CC” Chaput, general manager and bar program manager at Gold Point. “I guess an old fashioned has sort of a stereotype, which maybe five years ago would have been true. Now I think it’s the perfect go-to order if you’re indecisive in the moment or want to try a new back bar whiskey.”

The orders that tell a bartender they’re in for a long night

“If a guest orders a classic cocktail, a well-made old fashioned, they usually know what they like and are fairly easy to take care of,” Cicero says. “On the other hand, if a guest walks up to a bar and asks for the strongest drink possible, that can be a warning sign. The order itself is not always the issue, it’s how the guest communicates it.”

One drink order tells Caroline Worrell, beverage director at Work & Class and Carne, exactly how her night is going to go.

“Often, people will order a Tito’s and vodka, and it’s usually an indicator of a rough night ahead,” Worrell says. “It typically means they’ve already arrived overserved, and no amount of biscuits and cornbread will turn it around. It’s often on those same nights that a big group comes in all looking for Long Island iced teas, which also signals rough seas ahead.”

What you order versus how you order

“Other than hipsters with tattoos and ear gauges ordering Fernet, it’s pretty hard to pin a specific drink order to a stereotype,” Benji Franco, lead bartender at Linger, says. “More often you pick up the stereotype based on conversation.”

For Zittel, it’s the way you order as much as the drink itself. “No greeting, just spouts a drink order at me and then continues looking at their phone or whatnot,” he says. “Yeah, this isn’t going to be fun at all. ‘Here ya go, I’m here if you need anything.'”

No matter how much googling you do or how many cocktails you make at home, you almost surely don’t know as much about drinks as the bartender. “Someone who says, ‘What are you excited about today?’ or ‘Make me something you like,’ is almost always a pleasure,” Belk says. 

The orders that give you away

“Beer and a shot has become a fairly standard industry order — guilty,” Dylan Dinsmore, bar manager at FiNO, says. “When you work in it every day and are constantly talking about it, sometimes an easy beer and a shot to call it a night is the easiest choice.”

A few orders send a message the person ordering didn’t intend to send.

“People who have really specific orders or who try to modify cocktails usually think they’re exhibiting higher knowledge or taste, but it usually comes off either snobbish or silly,” says Quinn Lucero, bar lead at MAKfam. “A good example is people who are very picky about vodka brands or people who order ‘skinny margs.'”

Martini orders can speak volumes. “I believe people order martinis to look sophisticated but then they are surprised how spirit forward it is,” Cicero says.

The same goes for how the martini is ordered, Dinsmore says. “The dirty martini is always an interesting one. You can usually tell by their ordering confidence whether they truly enjoy a dirty martini or if they are ordering it just to fit in with the group and mask the taste of alcohol.”

At the end of the night, it all comes down to ordering what you like, Belk says. “I’d rather serve someone who’s genuinely excited about a cosmo or an espresso martini than someone forcing themselves through an obscure amaro because they think it makes them look interesting.”

Then there’s Malört, or more specifically, sending Malört to someone else. “I swear people think it makes them look funny, but I just think it’s mean,” Chaput says. “Malört is the worst.”

The orders that win a bartender over

Some orders go the other way and make a bartender’s shift.

“Rusty nail — I actually get pretty excited,” Zittel says. “‘Let me go get the Drambuie out of the back!’ Stoked for that person.”

Lucero says the same about anything bitter ordered by someone who doesn’t work in bars. “For the most part amaro is very much an industry order, at least in the US, so when someone asks me for a pour of Cynar or something, it makes my day.”

The same for a classic daiquiri for Cicero. “It shows the guest knows it isn’t the frozen kind from Señor Frog’s, but a classic cocktail with just rum, lime and sugar.”

Sometimes, it’s the weird orders that stand out most. “Scotch and milk,” Belk says. “That’s pretty old school. And also, I suspect it indicates a medical condition.”

Dinsmore has stopped being surprised by anything. “If someone likes equal parts yellow Chartreuse and Fernet with 40 dashes of spicy bitters, more power to them,” he says. “That really happened.”

Which leaves one order that works at every bar in Denver: ask the person behind it what they’re excited about.