When perusing pot shops, I’ve often felt as if I were shopping at a candy store or bakery, thanks to all the sweetly named cannabis strains out there, but I recently ran into a new theme at a west Denver dispensary: adult book store. Strains with names like “Sour Willie,” “Barely Legal” and “MAC” all made me think of something a little more risqué than weed, and “Donkey Butter” was straight up foul — but at $20 an eighth, and with a pungent, classic smell of pine tar and rubber, it wasn’t something that would make a stoner scrunch up his nose. It’s time to stop eating ass during this coronavirus scare, folks, and smoke it instead. Thanks to the strain’s shortened name, “Donkey Butt,” you can do that double time, for a cleaner 2020.
A child of two tough-guy strains, Grease Monkey and Triple OG, Donkey Butt is known for being a mounting sedative, as well as for its dark color and classic flavor profile. Although considered hard to find after its breeder, Exotic Genetix, retired the strain, Donkey Butt found its way into several Colorado cultivations, and seeds sold to the black market have since been turned into mother plants for future basement grows.
Donkey Butt’s fat yields and short flowering time ensured that growers would fight for its survival, while the classic dark Kush color and gassy, resinous smell keep the strain popular with customers. Further down the line of Donkey Butt’s lineage, you’ll find Gorilla Glue #4 and Girl Scout Cookies genetics, giving this nighttime variety a lot of power to boost. But instead of immediately sucking you dry of energy, Donkey Butt loosens the body with a warm-up wave before plopping your keister on the cushions for the pre-nap future. That body high is usually complemented by increasing stress relief, but euphoria can easily morph into a drowning pool of laziness and goldfish-like brain capacity.
We’ve sniffed out Donkey Butter at Ballpark Holistic Dispensary, Canna Botica, Kaya Cannabis, Rocky Road, Solace Meds, Starbuds and Universal Herbs, with our favorite, most relaxing takes on the strain coming from Canna Botica and Solace Meds.
Looks: Put Donkey Butter in the Johnny Cash category of strains, with extremely dark fan leaves that can look black if the room isn’t bright enough. The strain’s calyxes aren’t much lighter, comprising forest-green buds with regular spots of dark violet.
Smell: Anyone whose lungs and nostrils grew up on OG, Chemdog or Diesel strains will likely appreciate Donkey Butter’s aroma, which smells like a forest floor covered in gasoline. Earthy, spicy smells of soil, herbal peppercorns and subtle hints of melon are followed by thick, rubbery whiffs that smell like gas accidentally poured on a car tire — a fitting homage to Donkey Butt’s Grease Monkey mother.
Flavor: Donkey Butt doesn’t score a double ass on the flavor scale, luckily, instead pushing out peppery, earthy tastes followed by chemical notes and ending with a slight funk and even slighter fruity flavor. The final result is a zesty OG/Diesel sandwich with a side of honeydew.
Effects: Although not immediately debilitating or mind-numbing, Donkey Butt’s effect will swell within thirty minutes, so treat Donkey Butt rips more like an edible and less like a dab. The calming high can hit the mind, too, as several afternoon sessions of the strain left me unable to decide on a salad dressing or which shoe to put on first.
Home grower’s take: “Anything that pushes well over a pound and a half per plant in less than nine weeks is cool with most growers. I wasn’t smart enough to keep some seeds around after my first run with it, but I’ve seen it at friends’ operations and heard of clones making their way through here every once in a while. It’s so dark and purple-heavy that you can’t hide a weak crop with weak trichomes.”
Is there a strain you’d like to see profiled? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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