Why Colorado Tokers Love Four Kings

Four Kings will make you kneel after a bowl.
Four Kings will make you kneel after a bowl. Herbert Fuego
Remember Three Kings, the 1999 movie about the end of the Gulf War? Underrated flick: George Clooney, Edward Norton, Ice Cube, Mark Wahlberg and Spike Jonze all in one great cast, before any of them peaked, showing nine-year-old me just how fucked up the world is.

Discovering a strain with the name Four Kings had me wondering if a direct-to-DVD sequel to Three Kings starring Dolph Lundgren or Randy Couture was ever made. No such luck — which is a shame, because Four Kings is a great strain for zoning out with a B-grade action movie before bed. It’s also great at helping me get over shitting ma britches as a nine-year-old after seeing well-acted depictions of graphic and intense violence, according to the Motion Picture Association of America.

The name invokes a royal following, but Four Kings has more of a beloved cult of groupies in Denver right now, and is only available at a short list of dispensaries. Reportedly bred by Exotic Genetix, Four Kings is a potent cross of Triple OG and an OG Kush phenotype from Southern California. Each piney whiff and sedating hit find a home in an OG lover’s lungs, but don’t plan on leaving your own palace after bowing before a bowl of Four Kings. You’re destined for the pit of power naps. Dilly, Dilly.

Strong, OG-leaning strains can become popular quickly with the right marketing. But Four Kings goes a step further: Relatively reliable effects and a top-notch flavor profile from its purveying cultivations are essential reasons that customers call Denver Recreational to make sure the Kings are present before they hit the dispensary. Some self-medicating users gravitate toward the strain as a sleep aid, others for relief from minor stress and pain or to spur an appetite. I personally like to keep it behind glass in case of an emergency after a long day. Cares, pains and responsibilities — for better and for worse — all melt away.

The royal bloodline of Four Kings is still rare in Denver; I’ve only spotted it at Denver Recreational and the Herbal Cure so far. Luckily for you, those are two of the stankier pot shops in the city. You can’t go wrong with either take, but we see Four Kings more often at Den Rec.

Looks: Four Kings sprouts up like a stalagmite and can foxtail, which tends to produce segmented buds. The strain’s wintergreen color is muddled by amber coats of trichomes, peach pistils and purple hues on buds and sugar leaves.

Smell: Although initially fresh and piney up front, Four Kings has strong notes of wood and black pepper, with a dirty herbal kick at the end. The result smells like wood being cut in the middle of a forest, with a skunk nearby.

Flavor: Expect a dirty OG punch of grassy soil at the beginning, but Four Kings has a little Three Wise Men in it, with spicy, herbal and woody flavors, nearing a mix of pungent Kush and cedar.

Effects: Instead of a hot bath and a shot of whiskey after a hard day, I’d rather smoke lavishly with Four Kings. The high is calming enough to forget daily stressors and minor aches and pains, and upset or hung-over stomachs. Buyer beware, though: If you buy Four Kings before 3 p.m. and plan to smoke it, prepare for a nap.

Home grower’s take: “OG strains are actually okay to grow in the winter, because they come from environments that don’t get very hot, but you have to be careful with the buds once they start to swell. Don’t get greedy with the humidity and everything else, and make sure those plants are getting enough air. It’s never going to be a top yielder — you don't grow OGs for that. If it’s even half as strong as these stores are reporting, that should be more than enough.”

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego