All of this bitch-ass-ness had been stressing me out before Ol' Jeffy stuck his nose in our legal cannabis. After he announced the end of several federal cannabis protections dating back to 2009, anyone supporting Colorado's pot sector became paranoid — and it wasn't from smoking too much Haze. But alas, I'm a stoner, not a political analyst. So instead of giving you hot takes on how to fix this country (you have Facebook and your dad for that), here are ten strains that will help you deal with the mockery all of these fuck boys in Washington, D.C., have been making of our country.
While anyone who appreciates a vivid cerebral experience would enjoy the mind-bending high of LSD, it can be a little too kaleidoscopic for some. My peripheral vision is instantly eliminated upon smoking it, as is any sort of motivation to leave my seat. The heavy indica effects make it hard to imagine this being anything other than a nighttime strain for recreational purposes, but LSD’s strong ability to subdue could make it a daytime option for medical patients.
Amnesia Haze’s bark might be worse than its bite. While it can cause users to become dim if they overdo it, the fresh sativa makes me alert and productive after two or three bowls — and that doesn’t wane. The strain is popular among patients suffering from mental and physical fatigue as well as anxiety and eating disorders.
We haven’t found a POTUS with the balls to legalize this beautiful plant yet, but you can still walk softly and carry a big spliff of Presidential Kush. Maybe if more global leaders did, the world wouldn’t seem so scary.
Just like the band, the strain is understated but powerful, giving users of all tolerances a comfortable escape from daily tolls on the body and soul. Chemdawg 91 and San Fernando Valley OG Kush genetics create a relaxing but manageable high light on focus and worries. The high won’t have you swaying in a crowd of wooks without an expression on your face, but I still wouldn’t recommend smoking more than a couple hits before going out in public.