Why Colorado Tokers Love Wedding Cake

Till death do we toke.
Till death do we toke. Herbert Fuego
Although weddings are a celebration of love, many of us don't start having a good time until the reception, when music and drinks — but rarely cannabis — come out. That could change after this month’s Cannabis Wedding Expo in Lafayette, which will teach soon-to-be-couples how to tastefully incorporate the plant into their plans. Expo organizers should definitely tell attendees about Wedding Cake, a sinfully delicious indica fit for the after-party, if not the nuptials themselves.

Add Wedding Cake to a long list of potent indica-dominant hybrids bred from Girl Scout Cookies, which in this case was crossed with Cherry Pie for a true night-time delicacy. It's highly advised that you don't touch this strain until after the sun goes down and dinner is cooked, because this slice of dessert will be the final thing you consume before hitting the hay. The last time I remember getting hit as hard was my first few experiences with Bubba Kush, which was gritty but surprisingly sweet, and lulled me to sleep after an hour of drooling. While Bubba Kush's mocha and hash flavors make for a tasty way to the end the day, Wedding Cake's cheese Danish notes are a welcome addition to the after-hours menu.

Wedding Cake's debilitating effects might surprise you after seeing a strong sativa influence just a couple of steps up the family tree. Durban Poison, a pure sativa, and Chemdawg are ancestral strains of both Girl Scout Cookies and Cherry Pie, which technically makes Wedding Cake a strain of incest. (Don't worry: It's a process called “backcrossing,” and it’s not as fucked up as you might think.)

Kind Love
has done a great job of bringing Wedding Cake to the Rockies from Southern California. The Glendale dispensary's cut has thick trichome blankets and a high potency that gives new meaning to the term “space cake,” but at $60 an eighth after tax, you might want to save this one for the honeymoon. I have seen less expensive Wedding Cake at medical dispensaries that carry Kind Love's wholesale buds, though, including Natural Selections and Universal Herbs.

Looks: Trichomes stick to the sides and tops of calyxes, with shades of grape and pinkish-red that make them look like frosted sugar cookies; nugs are dense and shaped like teardrops and footballs. Fun fact: Wedding Cake's pink and purple hues are so striking that the strain is known as “Pink Cookies” in some circles.

Smell: Sweet, doughy and earthy with a sour twist at the end, Wedding Cake’s olfactory notes prove that the strain’s backcrossed genetics can mix well without losing those sugary and tart qualities.

Flavor: Although Wedding Cake's sugary and doughy notes come through after a toke, its sour and soil flavors take hold of the tastebuds with little reprieve. Joints and vaporizers showcase the strain's diverse taste better than glass.

Effects: Kiss your Fitbit steps goodbye, because this strain will put you down like a dart to Will Ferrell's jugular. Its Durban Poison genetics, known for a strong comedown, pair with OG Kush, Chemdawg and Grand Daddy Purple for a stoney high similar to a “weed salad” of several different strains. The intense, relaxing effects are good for stress and anxiety as well as appetite problems, insomnia and muscle soreness.

Commercial grower's take: “Dude, this one is intense. Seriously, be careful with this. I've had co-workers compare joints of it to taking dabs, and when you look at some of the lab results — 25 to 27 percent THC — it makes sense. That's almost as strong as certain types of bubble hash! The pink and purple colors it brings out and its heavy trichome production are similar to Alien Rock Candy, so it's no surprise Kind Love does such a good job with it.”

Is there a strain you'd like to see profiled? Email [email protected]
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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego