Why Colorado Tokers Love Cookies and Cream

Why Colorado Tokers Love Cookies and Cream
Herbert Fuego
Most male champions in thoroughbred horse racing end up studding after they retire, meaning their owners collect six figures while they impregnate mares in one of the most highly esteemed prostitution rings in sports. American Pharaoh, the first horse to win the Triple Crown in 37 years, charges $200,000 a pop. But Tapit, a lesser-known horse with fewer trophies, commands $300,000. Why? Because Tapit’s children win more races.

Tapit and Girl Scout Cookies have a lot in common: A very popular strain on its own, Girl Scout Coookies is becoming just as beloved for its offspring as it is for itself — if not more. GSC’s kids include Gelato, Platinum GSC, Sherbet and Thin Mints, a couple of which are personal favorites. But Exotic Genetix out of Washington state might’ve created the strongest colt of all with its thunderous Cookies and Cream. Bred from a GSC phenotype and Starfighter, a rare Alien hybrid, Cookies and Cream can test above 32 percent THC — but it’s proven to have more than just brawn. Its supreme potency, looks, smell, flavor and high make it a true five-tool player, something Nolan Arenado would smoke if he were allowed to — but not before batting practice. This sugary treat isn’t going to help your coordination.

Like a colorful tree frog, Cookies and Cream’s looks are as beautiful as they are deadly (all that THC has to go somewhere). I’ve seen friends drooling in front of a DVD menu screen for more than hour after just one bong toke, and its blunts should come with a mandatory-nap policy. The indica-leaning hybrid’s smell and flavor make smoking it even more sinful, with both carrying a decadent creaminess that will remind you of a Hershey’s Cookies ’n’ Creme bar, another stoner classic.

When smoking, it’s best to approach Cookies and Cream like hash, because a little toke goes a long way. A half-bowl for low tolerances and one or two for daily tokers will bring a clean, uplifting high, perfect for reading a novel, painting, or any other activity that merges consumption and creativity. As with edibles, users tend to go overboard before feeling the full effects, though, so take it easy or you’ll be destined for nothing.

Looks: Oh, the trichomes. Heavy coats of crystals are uncommon among top-shelf strains now, but Cookies and Cream brings them back and takes them to a new level. The snow-flocked evergreen nugs usually come in oblong or taller, slender shapes with dense calyxes.

Smell: Don’t let the blanket of white trichomes fool you into thinking it’s responsible for the “Cream” part of the name: Cookies and Cream carries a heavenly smell of vanilla beans and OG Kush. The freshly baked creaminess followed by earthy, hashy scents brings instant calm.

Flavor: Like a creamier, sweeter version of GSC, this strain deserves a joint, quality vaporizer or clean glass for proper enjoyment. It tastes like a pot-infused sugar cookie, starting with a combination of sweet, biscuity flavors and kush, followed by more earthy notes.

Effects: Although usually more potent, the effects should be similar to those of GSC, but with more of a body high and a stronger indica comedown. This strain can expand the mind, so expect a strong hit of stupid bliss or funky creativity. Medical benefits can help treat stress, depression, insomnia, minor pain and killer boredom.

Commercial grower’s take: “If you like Cookies strains, then you’d love this one. I can’t really choose which my favorite is, but this one’s definitely up there with the Gelatos and Platinum GSCs of the world. I wouldn’t recommend this if you’re a beginner, because it’s not the easiest to take care of during flowering, especially in the early weeks. The yield isn’t bad, probably average, and you can harvest in less than ten weeks. Just a sensitive one, but worth it.”

Is there a strain you’d like to see profiled? E-mail [email protected]

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego