Westword: Any downside to being so brief?
Steve E. Nix: No.
Anyone ever told you guys to take your time?
Daniel J. Travanti: Only our tour manager.
How brief have you guys been, at your briefest?
SN: Our first show was only three songs long.
Best thing about being a punk rocker?
Chris Brief: Walking down the street in Indiana and having a truckload of guys call you a faggot.
Best year in punk-rock history?
SN: 2005, new Briefs album is out.
Why the skinny new-wave ties and plastic sunglasses?
SN: Coolest costume we could find at garage sales.
Any celebrity fans?
SN: Burt Reynolds, of course.
Boxers or briefs?
DT: I don't wear any.
"Orange Alert" is one of your best songs. Politics and punk, a natural mix?
DT: A necessary mix.
Considering all the things that can kill us lately, how do you sleep at night?
SN: With cyanide by the bedside.
DT: Alcohol helps.
What's wrong with your home town, Seattle?
DT: The neo-conservative hippies that call themselves liberal.
Does living there really make you want to kill yourself?
DT: It has, for sure. I can't stand the rain.
Favorite Starbucks beverage?
Briefly, describe the new album.
SN: Like sitting naked in your kitchen on PCP, with every kitchen appliance on.
It's an album of anti-love songs. Don't you have a heart?
SN: Actually, we have very large, bleeding hearts full of chocolate syrup and cornstarch.
Who's the "Genital General"?
DT: That's going to be [bassist] Steve [Kicks]. He won't admit it, but it's him.
If your girl did become a zombie, would you kick her out of bed?
DT: No, but I think sex with dead people is illegal. I definitely would not tell anyone.
Best zombie movie ever?
SN: Dawn of the Dead.
DT: Night of the Living Dead, for sure.
Can your new bassist Steve Kicks kick my ass?
DT: Yeah. He used to play hockey, you know?
Finally, can we hang out sometime?
SN: Yeah, of course. We'll play pinball and shit.