Hey, ladies, think your male friends are resilient to emotion? Perhaps you've never seen them tear up, save for that lone teardrop that forms at the end of Rocky IV. Well, if you're looking to evoke a little emotion from a partner, a recent study suggests you can do it with a song.
The study, titled "Songs to make a grown man cry," surveyed 1,757 respondents in the U.K. for their responses. A few surprising songs show up, but nothing from way out in left field. It's not like you'll find a John Cage composition on here (some of those will certainly make us cry). Let's take a look at the scientifically proven tear-jerkers.
10. Robbie Williams - "Angels"
Are you kidding? Was this written for The Notebook soundtrack or something? This is the kind of crap that gets played at a wedding when the bride and groom don't give a rat's ass about the music.
9. Todd Duncan - "Unchained Melody"
Okay, this one is certainly a bit of a tear-jerker; we'll give it that. Of course, the usual version of the song people associate with is the Righteous Brothers' version used in Ghost.
8. Bruce Springsteen - "Streets of Philadelphia"
Look, we get that Philadelphia wasn't a movie about sunshine and puppies, but of all the songs in Springsteen's catalogue that might make a man cry, "Streets of Philadelphia" seems the least likely. How about "The River?" We'd venture a guess that it's not the song that makes men cry so much as the images associated with the film.
7. Elton John - "Candle in the Wind"
Er, this one probably doesn't really apply to Americans. Sure, the original was recorded for Marilyn Monroe, but we're pretty sure it turns English blokes into crying babies because of the dedication to Princess Diana.
6. The Verve - "Drugs Don't Work"
"Drugs Don't Work" was released the day after Princess Diana died, and we're pretty certain her death is the only reason it's on the list. It's sure as hell not because it's a good song.
5. U2 - "With or Without You"
It should come as no surprise that U2's church hymn would make its way onto a list of songs that make you cry. It's often cited as one of the greatest songs of all time -- which, in our book, means we've been desensitized to whatever meaning it's supposed to have, especially after having heard it 1,000 times.
4. Sinead O'Connor - "Nothing Compares 2 U"
Sinead O'Connor didn't write it, but it's her version that's making people curl up and cry. Don't ask us why: When this song was popular, we made a habit of stuffing cotton in our ears every time it came on.
3. Leonard Cohen - "Hallelujah"
Wait a minute, this isn't a Paramore song? We're a bit surprised that Cohen's original version got the nod here, actually, as Jeff Buckley's is usually viewed as the most gut-wrenching of the covers. It probably has something to do with the song's association with funerals. We wouldn't say this makes us cry -- but we suppose if it was playing at the end of Transformers, we might tear up.
2. Eric Clapton - "Tears in Heaven"
We get it; it's a song about Clapton's late son. He doesn't even play it anymore -- probably because it has lost all meaning since becoming a hit.
1. R.E.M. - "Everybody Hurts"
This is all it takes to bring you down? R.E.M., really? If we had to pick a list of songs with the stupidest lyrics of all time, we're pretty certain the lines "everybody hurts sometimes" would be on there. R.E.M.: Feelings, how the fuck do they work?
So what's the lesson here? Well, namely that songs released in or about Princess Diana are sure to make a grown man cry -- well, that and any song associated with the sad portion of a popular movie or that has a piano. It seems a little trivial to us, but then again, the only time you'll see us crying is during a wicked Yngwie Malmsteen guitar solo.
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