Ask a Stoner

Ask a Stoner: When can I serve edibles at my restaurant?

Dear Stoner: I am a registered nurse, and I plan to continue being one. I also enjoy lighting up and would like to get a medical card — but not at the expense of my job. I have been clean for any job testing, and I realize that the need to do so won't change, card or not. What I'm wondering is if future employers will be able to know through background checks that I obtained an MMJ card?

Nurse Nugs

Dear Nurse: It's nice to know that there are open-minded people entering the health field; if only all nurses were as kind. Your secret is safe with us — and apparently with the Colorado Department of Health and Environment, which says that it wouldn't even respond to a background-check request.

According to Amendment 20, the only people who have access to your registry information are health-department employees and occasionally police, who only have access when they need to verify the status of someone who has presented them with a card or a doctor's recommendation. A spokesman at the Colorado Bureau of Investigation recently told us that the CBI isn't cross-checking for your red card, either (though it would probably love to do so).

But, remember, your occupational license as a nurse has several requirements — one of which is that you don't use any drugs. And unfortunately, marijuana is still considered one of those. So while the card will allow you to purchase meds at a dispensary and possess up to two ounces, it won't protect your career.

Dear Stoner: My restaurant patrons keep asking me when they'll be able to purchase extra-special desserts. Can I serve pot-infused foods as long as it's to consenting customers?

Chef Bong-r-weed

Dear Chef: Sorry, you're going to have to keep the cannabis bananas Foster for your personal dinner parties. Amendment 64 prohibits public consumption, and even though noshing a green-tinted dessert isn't as obvious as someone lighting up a spliff, your customers would still be consuming marijuana in a public place. On top of that, you would have to have a license to sell any marijuana products — and those don't exist yet.

But giving away cannabis confections at a private event is (apparently) a different story. Less than a week after I wrote in this space that pot clubs wouldn't be allowed, three quasi-private clubs were operating. By their logic, you could close down and have non-paying guests for a night — but why do that when you can just serve the likely already-stoned patrons regular desserts? This is Colorado, after all.

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William Breathes
Contact: William Breathes