We published our first roundup of DPD dumb criminal stories in January 2015, with second and third editions following.
For the latest batch, however, the term "dumb criminals" didn't seem to do the trick — at least not nearly as well as "douchebags" does.
You'll see what we mean after checking out the ten photo-illustrated Denver police accounts below.
STOP & SMELL THE FLOWERS, BUT DON'T CUT THEM....
Monday, May 23, 2016, Denver Police District 6 officers responded to the 1400 block of N. Gaylord Street on a report of a burglary. The officers’ investigation revealed that the suspect, 38-year-old Cybil Lucero, unlawfully entered the occupied residence. Lucero then took scissors from the victim’s kitchen and used them to cut flowers from the garden at the residence. The nanny was at the home at the time and confronted the suspect. The suspect exited the house but remained on the property until the victim arrived home and also confronted the suspect. The responding officers located the suspect in a garage in the 2200 block of E. Colfax Avenue. Still in her possession were the stolen flowers and scissors. Lucero was positively identified by the victim and arrested for burglary.
SIR, THERE'S SOME HOUSE ON YOUR TRUCK
Early Saturday morning, April 30, 2016, Denver Police District 4 officers responded to the 00 block of N. Vrain Street on a report of a vehicle versus house hit and run crash. It appeared the suspect lost control and ran into the side of the house, knocking a large hole in the wall. The suspect then backed up and fled the scene. The suspect vehicle was described as a black pick-up truck. Later, Officer Young saw a black pick-up truck in the area of 1st Avenue and Knox Court. The truck had a flat tire and heavy front-end damage, with dirt, grass and siding from a house sticking out from under it. The officer conducted a traffic stop and identified the suspect driver as a 16-year-old male who appeared to be driving under the influence. The suspect was cited for the crash and held for DUI.
YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN’T SWIM
On Thursday, April 28, 2016, Denver Police — District 6 officers responded to a call for help. BNSF Rail Officers were in a foot pursuit of a wanted man. The suspect jumped into the S. Platte River, and when officers arrived on scene, the suspect was clinging to a tree stump in the middle of the river. Denver Fire and Paramedics responded and performed a water rescue. The suspect, 34-year-old Shawn Brandon, was rescued and arrested on his felony warrant.
3 FOR 1 TRAFFIC STOP
Saturday, May 21, 2016, Gang Unit officers were on patrol in the area of 26th Avenue and N. Lafayette Street when they saw a vehicle fail to signal for a turn. The officers observed the suspect driver fail to signal several more times and then conducted a traffic stop. One of the passengers, 23-year-old Raymond Sutherland, was wearing gloves and had his face concealed with a hat. In plain view, at Sutherland’s feet, was a revolver. Sutherland is a convicted felon and he was arrested for possession of a weapon by a previous offender. The suspect driver, 25-year-old Christopher Butler, was charged with driver under restraint and the second passenger, 23-year-old Danielle Mendez, was arrested on a warrant. During an inventory search of the vehicle, officers also recovered a second gun.
BAIT BIKE REELS IN 2 AT ONCE
Wednesday, May 11, 2016, Denver Police District 6 officers deployed a bait bicycle in the 2100 block of Lawrance Street. Late in the evening, officers were alerted that the bike was in motion. A suspect, 46-year-old Anthony Romero, was seen by HALO cameras tampering with the bicycle, but he was struggling to cut the lock with a pocket knife. Officers staged in the area were ready to arrest the suspect, once he successfully removed the bike. After a bit, a second suspect, 51-year-old Robert Aragon, who was unknown to the first suspect, walked past and saw that the first suspect was struggling with the lock. The second suspect stopped, pulled a pair of wire cutters from his backpack and helped cut the cable lock, which freed the bike from the pole. The two suspects then began fighting over the bait bike, tugging it back and forth, and trying to wrestle it from each other. Officers converged on the scene, and arrested both suspects, both of whom were in possession of burglary tools.
Continue for more stories about douchebags from the Denver Police Department.