ESPN released some alarming data
last week for sports fans who attend games at their local arenas and ballfields: What's happening off the field is much more frightening than the official action. Out of almost 17,000 inspections, 28 percent had “high-level violations" that brought with them an increased risk for foodborne illnesses. Makes you think of good ol’ Broncos fever in a whole new way, right?
The situation is serious across the country, and Denver's venues rated close to the bottom. The stats made us wonder what other health-related risks might be lurking in the corners of our favorite arena around the Mile High. Here's a modest list of things to avoid next time you’re out at the old ball game:
Rocky Flats Dogs
Health tip: If your hot dog points at you, do not eat it.
It’s one thing to have regional loyalty, but Rockies Dogs are probably plenty bad enough for the diet. If we brought in livestock raised near Rocky Flats
...well, that would be a pretty inadvisable idea, though the motto “The meat that makes you glow inside and out” does have a certain ring to it.
Surplus Orange Crush From 1977
Well, it did back in 1977, anyway.
A vaunted defense
worthy of its own name is one thing, but no one considered what the shelf life of soda might actually be. Forty-year-old pop might be problematic, but on the bright side, it’s still formulated with something the ancients used to call “sugar,” which we’ve long since abandoned in lieu of chemicals that taste just like it, sorta.
Nacho Cheese: Semi-Liquid Surrender
Yes, that’s it. Just nacho cheese. The health issues are built in. In 1982, the FDA required that this warning be put on all cans of nacho cheese: “If you’re reading this, we give up. You’re on your own.”
We can argue about the quality of beer, how cold it might be, whether overindulgence is an issue, all of that. But really, spilled beer is by far the biggest risk one incurs while imbibing. After all, accidentally dumping a foamy one down the back of the wife of the guy sitting in front of you might get you seriously hurt.