Marijuana Strain Review: Girl Scout Cookies at Starbuds DU

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I’ve been getting hash-pen cartridges at the Starbuds in the University of Denver neighborhood for months, but I’d never purchased its flower before. This Starbuds branch, located at 1640 East Evans Avenue, is across the street from an actual Starbucks and near the original Chipotle. Since plenty of college students are constantly walking by, I have to appreciate the strength of good real estate.

Which might be why Starbuds sells most of its grams for $20 or more out the door. Pootie Tang, the chain’s third-place winner in the category of Best Colorado Sativa Flower at the 2015 Cannabis Cup, was $25 per gram. Too cheap to ask for a whiff, I purchased the slightly less expensive Girl Scout Cookies for $20, bought a barbacoa burrito down the street, and continued my day a broke man.

Girl Scout Cookies is a chic hybrid, a cross between Durban Poison and OG Kush, a legendary pedigree that the Girl Scouts of America would like to separate itself from; the organization has asked several stores to cease and desist using the strain name. (If you have a copy of that GSA letter, feel free to leak it to us!) My luck with it in the past had set a high standard, although this purchase did not look promising. Back at home, the gram looked a little light, so I weighed it — and the scale continued to go back and forth between eight-tenths and nine-tenths of a gram. This might sound picky, but I doubt Starbuds would sell anything to me if I were $2 short, and this wasn’t a case of a few wet buds drying out and losing weight. The smell was also underwhelming; I basically had to smash a nug between my fingers to release some faint rubber and pine smells, and the bottle the herb came in smelled more like plastic than pot.

The buds themselves provided some hope: They were bright green and peppered white with trichomes and frosty leaves, and breaking them up released a sugary aroma and showed off some chunky calyxes. I smoked two bowls one night after dealing with stomach problems and was blindsided. It didn’t cure my stomach, but it sure made me forget I had one. I blew through fifty pages of a novel (which I’ll probably have to reread), then promptly fell asleep. I’m not sure the pot was worth $20, but I’ll give it some credit for that sucker punch.

Strain Gang is our weekly critique of a cannabis strain at a recreational store. For MMJ reviews, go to westword.com/news. Have a suggestion for a strain review? Send it to marijuana@westword.com.

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