Pop Quiz

1. Denver mayoral front-walker Ari Zavaras can cite this achievement in collage, er, college:

A. He was named "Brother Beer Bong" of his Greek fraternity.

B. He spent a year as the Wise Owl mascot.

C. As chairman of the school's safety brigade, he was named a "Junior G-Man" by J. Edgar Hoover.

D. He scored a "D" in American government, a shining moment in attaining his 1.1 grade-point average.

2. University of Colorado Regent Jim Martin caused a mini-flap when he:

A. Argued that it was the right of all students to have "lounge-related furnishings" on their porches.

B. Switched his affiliation from Republican to Democrat in order to be more centrist.

C. Was the lone vote in favor of granting a student from Arvada a B.A. in "Simpsonology," the study of The Simpsons.

D. Urged installation of timers in classrooms to keep long-winded profs from talking too long.

3. Candidate/historic preservationist Elizabeth Schlosser copped to this:

A. Talking her way past security at an Alice Cooper concert using a phony ID.

B. Working for several months as a Psychic Friend, dispensing advice for pay.

C. Shoplifting a $2 item when she was 21.

D. Forging a Red Cross lifesaving card so that she could become a summertime lifeguard.

4. Talking about his current law-firm partners, Penn Tate said that if he's elected mayor, he:

A. "Would be sensitive to calling them up and saying, 'Here's a contract.'"

B. "Might still bowl with them. But city business wouldn't be discussed."

C. "Could see whether they could help on a case-by-case basis. Knowing them, they'd be too expensive."

D. Plans to recuse himself from any contact with his barrister buddies, even in the Broncos' luxury suite.

5. Susan Casey made this shocking admission:

A. She once won first prize, fair and square, in a Halloween costume contest sponsored by John Hickenlooper's Wynkoop Brewing Co.

B. She dropped a Spanish class last fall at Metro State.

C. She has, on occasion, rooted for the Oakland Raiders.

D. The feisty former councilwoman has twice failed driving tests because she's a lousy parallel parker.

6. The late Joseph Coors, a member of the Board of Regents in the '60s, took this tough stance:

A. No football helmets at practice.

B. No beer sales after the eighth inning of Denver Bears home games.

C. No '60s in Colorado.

D. No coed showers.


1. D. Ari the scholar earned a D.

2. B. Martin, a longtime GOP fixture, switched to the Democratic side.

3. C. Schlosser confessed to having been light-fingered long ago.

4. A. Tate states he'd be sensitive. But he could still award no-bid contracts to his mates.

5. B. Casey dropped the language class, citing her campaign. ¡Qué lástima!

6. C. The conservative Coors was quoted saying he wanted to "prevent the '60s from coming to Colorado." He should have visited Nederland, where the decade is still alive and well.

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Ernie Tucker
Contact: Ernie Tucker