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Santiago Calatrava unwraps Denver gift at birthday bash: Kenny Be's Worst-Case Scenario

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Star architect Santiago Calatrava will reveal his plan for the new Fastracks/Westin Hotel/Terminal on Thursday, July 29, 2010. It is only fitting that Denver Manager of Aviation Kim Day will be throwing him a birthday party the night before, as she has consistently held a "let them eat cake" attitude about the expense of the project, and who will have to pay. I can already see her in her sultry summer dress, fawning over the birthday boy... "Hi! I'm Denver Manager of Aviation Kim Day. It's July 28, 2010 (5:30 P.M.), and we are gathered here at the Denver Art Museum Sharp Auditorium to celebrate the 59th birthday of Starchitect and Genius Santiago Calatrava*, whom I have personally selected to design the new $160 million (minus the usual 400 percent cost overruns) DIA commuter rail terminal and resort hotel. But first, I'd like to sing a little song..."

Page down to see how this show will go on...

"I know that we still owe $3.5 billion on the existing fifteen-year-old airport structures and that we could hire a local architect for half the price, But remember, Denver is a young city, and just like an insecure teenager getting a tattoo, we need this Calatrava starchitecture to convince ourselves (and show all of these other cities) that we really are just as cool."

Page down to be delivered from Denver's DAM disaster...

"Please, Mr. Calatrava, don't hate us because we already have an art museum designed by Daniel Libeskind. We were so naive! He was our first Starchitect -- we were his first U.S. city commission. We thought that he liked and cared for us, but he was only using us to get famous. Now we are left to raze raise his bastard building."

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