"With an egg on top."
Ooh. You just stepped up your food game. You uttered those five words to the server, and suddenly everyone at your table perks up.
It's not just a sign that you're starving. It shows you're a risk-taker. Someone who has had enough of diets and eating healthy. Someone who -- for a lack of a better term -- wants to break the shell. "Screw my waistline; just bring me what I want."
While Homer Simpson's Good Morning Burger hasn't made its debut (yet), you can still get your egg on with these gut-busting delights:
El Tejon Burger, LoHi SteakBar 3200 Tejon Street
One of the best steakhouses in town also puts out a mean burger, but the El Tejon monstrosity isn't for lightweights: ground chuck grilled and topped with chili, cheddar and a fried egg. Sure, Red Robin has its own version, but who wants lettuce, tomatoes and other healthy crap on their egg burger?
Carbonara Pizza, Osteria Marco 1453 Larimer Street
You'll turn your head and raise your eyebrows when you see it on the menu, but the carbonara pizza at Frank Bonanno's Osteria Marco is well worth the adventure. Carbonara sauce slathered on a pie with salty pieces of pancetta is balanced out by an egg cracked in the middle. One egg is hardly enough to cover every bite of pizza, however, so you'll want to order another one.
Udon noodle bowl, Bones 701 Grant Street
Udon is not a complete dish if it doesn't come with an egg. At Bones, (Yeah, Frank Bonanno is on this list twice, but the man is doing something right.), a poached egg is accompanied with slow-roasted pork shoulder in a meaty broth.
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Toro Tartare, Sushi Sasa 2401 15th Street
Delicately prepared tuna serves as the base of this mini-statue of glory, topped off with caviar and a raw quail egg. Every bite of this dish is a mouth-watering reminder of how amazing tuna is when it's combined with eggs. And with two types of eggs? Now you're spoiling me.
Banh Bao, Vinh Xuong Bakery 375 South Federal Boulevard
This may be cheating since a banh bao, a steamed Vietnamese rice bun, comes with a hard-boiled quail egg inside. But when it's nestled within two kinds of pork (seasoned ground and Chinese sausage) with an outer shell of slightly-sweet dough, who's going to complain about cheating?