Dear Stoner: Can I Toke Up at My Condo?

Dear Stoner: Can I freely smoke marijuana in my condo? I own the condo, and the condo association has no rules about smoking. Also, can I smoke freely on my balcony?
El Jefe

Dear Jefe: If you’re the homeowner and you say it’s okay, you can smoke two joints before you smoke two joints, then smoke two more. Colorado law says you’re the king of that castle, and if the king wants to puff tuff, the king can puff tuff. Your balcony is also fair game for toking, thanks to a Denver City Council decision last year. Your garage and even your front porch are pro-pot zones (we’ve taken a shine to puffing a doobie while working on the car, ourselves).

But keep in mind that your HOA can still set rules banning your ability to puff in your yard, on your porch or in any other space that could fall into the definition of “common area” for the complex. The association can even tell you when and how you can puff indoors. According to some HOA legal experts, if your smoking pot in your own place bothers a neighbor, the HOA may require you to seal your front door or even install vent systems. So you might not want to waft ganja smoke over the neighbor’s kids while they play outside lest you feel the wrath of an Angry Parent and the HOA board. Some HOAs have also banned cultivation due to smell and potential mold issues in shared walls — so if you’re planning on growing, make sure you’re within the rules, or you could be facing some major fines.

Our advice? Cash in on the rising home values and move out as soon as possible. HOAs are hives for busybodies with nothing better to do than gripe about how other people live — and they’ve never been a good place for the cannabis-friendly.

Dear Stoner: I don’t smoke pot, but I tried it on February 26 and 27 — about six puffs each time. I had a drug test to take on March 17, and I wondered if THC would still show up.
P. Clear

Dear P. Clear: The answer is cloudy, unfortunately. THC can stay in your fatty tissue and still come up on a drug test a month after smoking. That’s usually for people who regularly consume a lot of pot, however. You’re not a regular toker with a built-up tolerance, so you may be in the clear. A lot of this is beyond your control, but the more water you drink, the faster your body can clear the THC from your system: If you drank enough water to stay hydrated in that time, you’ve got a chance. Aside from the whole weeks-long paranoia over potentially failing a drug test, we hope your first time using cannabis was a good one.