Any day that includes a trip to Wal-Mart is bound to suck, low-low prices notwithstanding. But when it ends with getting your ass kicked by a guy in a wheelchair and then a trip to jail, it's time to change your lucky socks.
Kevin Salyers, 34, was in a Westminster Wal-Mart recently when he decided that a discount superstore was a fine place to dust off his creep moves. According to police, he sexually assaulted a girl in the store before trying to flee, probably to a nearby Toys "R" Us. (It's unclear what, exactly, they believe he did.)
As Salyers tried to bail, a witness yelled for someone to stop him. That's when Cameron Aulner, wheelchair-bound from a Christmas-light accident, rolled over to Salyers and tackled him, holding him there until police showed up.
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And Salyers? He's been charged with sexual assault. Way less importantly, he's our Shmuck of the Week.
Meet more shmucks in our Shmuck of the Week archive.