Jonathan Borba / Pexels
Audio By Carbonatix
There are a lot of ways to meet your neighbors. Awkward elevator rides where your dogs sniff each other’s butts. Juggling groceries through the garage. Poolside small talk on a sunny afternoon.
As for my hot neighbor? I met him the same way many people do, in the hallway. For a year, we’d exchange flirty glances or occasionally ask to borrow things. Like once, he asked to use my clothing steamer, which I was hoping was a secret ploy to make a move. To my disappointment, he picked it up and dropped it off without so much as stepping inside my place.
Then, one day, after months of what I perceived as sexual tension building to insurmountable levels, he finally asked me out. The text read: “Hey! I have an extra Alabama Shakes Red Rocks ticket for tonight. Any interest in going?”
Was my neighbor fantasy finally coming true?
At first, my brain started to spiral. Think of all the things that could go wrong! What if he’s secretly unhinged? What if he bangs on my door at 2 a.m.? What if I see him with another woman, or he sees me with another man? Oh, the awkward horror!
Of course, I said yes to the date.
Alabama Shakes at Red Rocks was incredibly romantic, and when we got back home, we made out in the elevator. He even walked me to my door (which was right next to his).
For a while, it was fun. We bounced between apartments. Walked my dog together. Did the “I forgot something” shuffle down the hallway. Invited each other over for spontaneous dinners…and desserts, if you catch my drift. But after a few dates, it became clear we weren’t a match.
That’s when the dread set in. Would things be weird? Would he suddenly hate me? Would I find a serial killer-esque note made with magazine letter cut-outs slipped under my door?
Thankfully, none of that happened. It’s actually been quite cordial. To date, the hallway encounters have been brief and painless – at least from my perspective.
Nevertheless, the experience left me wondering: Is hooking up with your neighbor a thrilling convenience, or a terrible idea?
I polled my Instagram followers on whether they’d hook up with a neighbor – sixty-six percent said yes, and thirty-four percent said absolutely not. Some even shared anecdotes, which ranged from hit-it-and-quit-it flings to full-blown engagements.
One follower shared a story that felt like a rom-com waiting to happen. “There is a man who lives three doors down on my floor. I would see him at the gym, smile at him while I would walk my dog some days, but after a year of just exchanging glances, we had never introduced ourselves,” she explains.
Then, one night in July, she found him sitting in the hallway, locked out of his apartment. “Emboldened by a couple margaritas after happy hour,” she invited him into her place to wait.
They chatted innocently until maintenance arrived and exchanged numbers. Then, things got flirty.
“Now we bang like once a week,” she shares. “While some might think this could create an awkward situation, we established boundaries and expectations at the start, and so far, so fun!”
She wasn’t the only success story. Other followers shared tales that completely redefine what it means to be a “good neighbor”:
- I met my neighbor at Occidental, then had sex with him when my power went out.
- I hooked up with my neighbor recently, and we really just did it because, why not? And now we’re besties.
- Hooked up with my neighbor below me after he asked for my number. HUGE 🍆.
Maybe the idea of hooking up with a neighbor feels taboo because it collapses the illusion of separation. We swipe on strangers who live miles away while barely making eye contact with the people across the hall. Dating apps give us the luxury of distance; a neighbor removes all of that. You can’t ghost or lie about having other plans, because they will likely run into you.
If it goes wrong, it goes wrong. But if it goes right? You might end up engaged to the person you once met in the elevator – which actually happened to one of my followers.
“I was touring apartments and got into the elevator with the leasing agent,” she recalls. “I asked him if he liked living there, and he was like, ‘Yeah, what else am I going to say? The leasing agent’s right there.’”
She ended up leasing an apartment in that building, and then, as she puts it, “I kept seeing the guy from the elevator randomly…Walking out of a coffee shop, in the garage, [even] on Tinder.”
“Every time he came up, I’d just close the app, I couldn’t decide what to do.”
Eventually, encouraged by a younger coworker to “do it for the plot,” she swiped right. Two years later, they’re engaged.
Her advice to people in a neighbor dilemma? “Do it scared.”
As someone who’s also done the unthinkable (banged my neighbor), I couldn’t agree more. Sometimes the biggest risk isn’t an awkward encounter in the hallway – it’s potentially missing out on a connection that’s literally right next door.
