Stupid ad of the week: Axe's fallen angels

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Few companies blatantly exploit sex appeal for financial gain as much as AXE male scent products. Sure, almost every advertisement in history has employed some degree of sexual innuendo, but AXE forgets all about the innuendo part and goes straight for the junk. Exhibit A: Their stupid ad in which angels fall from the sky after denouncing heaven just to spend a few carnal moments with a dirty guy who drives a scooter.

These angels don't give a shit. They're on a mission for man meat, and they're gonna get it. "Get this halo outta my face!" They say, "I want to bang!" Isn't it a little weird, though, that all these angel babes are going for the same dude? As if the fall from heavenly grace wasn't bad enough, now they're going to have a seven-on-one orgy? Oh good, they put one black girl in there. Whew.

AXE is, of course, playing the seduction game well by making the male lead in this fantasy good-looking enough to make this a plausible narrative in fantasy land, while not making him so good looking, or so successful (hence the moped) that would-be AXE buyers can't vicariously place themselves into that male role. Everyone knows AXE isn't for the successful gentleman; it's for the studio-living, low-income-job-having 20-something who could only dream of having the women who appear in the ads for the products that support his delusion. Hence the fantasy, with AXE at its core.

And since sex appeal relates to the non-rational part of the brain that seeks only to fulfill its survival tasks; men place themselves in that role all the time, and that's why this tactic often ends up working even on men who know better. Take any rational, reasonable, single young man, show him an AXE commercial, and more than likely, he will at least consider buying some of that stuff, just in case it works. Because if it did, then shazam! "No more reading 'interesting' books and pretending to be cultured, I'll just spray some of this weird-smelling stuff on myself and let the babes flood in." That's the emotional logic that adverts rely on.

Of course, if this shit worked the way the adverts suggest, no man in his right mind would want it, because they would literally have no time for anything but sex, which, contrary to popular belief, would get old very quickly. The philosopher Epictetus said that the most valued pleasures are the ones which occur the least often. Though, if advertising is any indication, the modern world vehemently disagrees with him, and in fact, would tell him to go shove it where the sun don't shine while chilling in a massage chair, getting a pedicure and stuffing its face with something soaked in a heavy grease.

These stupid, over-sexed adverts obviously work for AXE because they have to be pushing ridiculous unit numbers on those aerosol cans in order to afford the no-doubt exorbitant budget required to produce a blockbuster-effects-worthy video such as this one. One that essentially tells men that, "Using our scented spray will leave you no choice but to sleep with babes 24/7 through no effort of your own," while simultaneously telling women, "You need to step up your game, because now you're competing with fucking angels."

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