Ifiok Etuk is suburban superhero Aurora Wraptight: Kenny Be’s Hip Tip

Aurora Wraptight Real name: Ifiok Etuk; Occupation: Soul feeder; Suburb of operations: Aurora; Eyes: All-seeing; Hair: All-growing Suburban superhero skill: After years of thankless toil in the corporate ranks of Taco Bell, Aurora Wraptight learned that his path to true happiness would actually start by selling his delicious homemade burritos…

Nail salons get dealt a bad hand: Kenny Be’s Sign Language

Fellow artists often confess to me that they have a difficult time drawing hands. I like to remind them that artists are not cameras, and then I encourage them to completely accept their artistic limitations as the only true form of personal expression. I am happy to see that the…

Fred Diehl is suburban superhero Erie Reminder: Kenny Be’s Hip Tip

Erie Reminder Real name: Fred Diehl; Occupation: Town Spokesman; Suburb of Operations: Erie; Hair: Rolled gold; Eyes: Deep Suburban superhero skills: Erie Reminder is a Detroit, Michigan transplant who possesses the superhuman capacity to think and talk at great speeds. The Motor City motormouth attributes his success to F.R.E.D., Facing…

Dan Maes’s amazing record needs no proof: Kenny Be’s Fotochop Friday

The bittersweet ache of partial financial disclosure, the hidden truth of lackluster personal success and the yearning to be a leader – these are the touchstones of Republican primary candidate Dan Maes, who came out of nowhere and showed that he could translate the dysfunctional anger of Tea Party political…

Jesus magic proves yard art miracle: Kenny Be’s Yard Arteology

Yard Arteology: The study of neighbors through their lawn decoration… After months of arcane ritual and conjuring, August is the month that reveals all. Plants at their peak have a magical way of separating the plantellectuals from the dignoramuses. Garden gurus, who were able to visualize August when looking at…

Trashed giraffe makes lousy bedmate: Kenny Be’s Sign Language

The candled cake may be the most famous birthday symbol, but birthday parties are more notable for what gets trashed. Good times will lay waste to anything that gets in its path, whether it’s gift-bearing guests, party favors or furniture. If birthday character clues can be measured by garbage content,…