Yard Arteology: The study of neighbors through their yard decoration. Since water is the source of all life, humans have long hoped that wishes made at wells would be granted. The tossing of coins at the conclusion of each wish evolved with the idea that everything has its price…
Denver Manager of Safety Ron Perea’s resignation does not take effect until August 31, 2010, which leaves plenty of time for local law enforcement personnel to stage a beat-police support rally! While citizens were sickened to watch the video of Denver police beating a man in Lower Downtown, and appalled…
Aurora Wraptight Real name: Ifiok Etuk; Occupation: Soul feeder; Suburb of operations: Aurora; Eyes: All-seeing; Hair: All-growing Suburban superhero skill: After years of thankless toil in the corporate ranks of Taco Bell, Aurora Wraptight learned that his path to true happiness would actually start by selling his delicious homemade burritos…
If high-energy prop-comic John Hickenlooper is willing to shower in his clothes to tout that he is running a “clean” campaign for Colorado Governor, then just imagine what he will won’t be wearing to emphasize his administration’s promise to “establish a system of transparency and open government…” (Warning! Drawings below…
Fellow artists often confess to me that they have a difficult time drawing hands. I like to remind them that artists are not cameras, and then I encourage them to completely accept their artistic limitations as the only true form of personal expression. I am happy to see that the…
The middle building pictured above is not the tallest home in Denver, but it sits at the highest elevation in the city. It’s located in a West Highland neighborhood that is being overtaken by pop-tops and scrape-offs that reach ever-upward for the view of the Rampart and Central Front Ranges…
In addition to taking the primary election away from his Republican challenger, gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes would be wise to grab on to the remaining “Scott McInnis for Governor” billboards that are still up around town and reuse them for a cost-efficient campaign. The cornball message of the Scott McInnis…
Greetings from Denver! They don’t call it the Mile High City for nothing. Even Mother Nature agrees that Downtown Denver is the proverbial pot of gold. And, not just once, but twice! See how the double rainbows to the left of the photo above balance so nicely with the Highland…
Page down to find the latest back-to-campus clothing tips for Colorado University students who are having trouble fitting concealed weapons into their trendy form-fitting fashions…..
The wheat paste technique is most often used to slap printed movie posters onto wooden pedestrian walkways in construction zones — but its use to display an original drawing on a cell-phone tower is more rare than a spotted owl sighting. As seen in the photo above, the remains of…
Erie Reminder Real name: Fred Diehl; Occupation: Town Spokesman; Suburb of Operations: Erie; Hair: Rolled gold; Eyes: Deep Suburban superhero skills: Erie Reminder is a Detroit, Michigan transplant who possesses the superhuman capacity to think and talk at great speeds. The Motor City motormouth attributes his success to F.R.E.D., Facing…
Figure 74. Rosedale: Wrought up in the west. On the occasion of Historic Denver’s 40th Anniversary, it is only fitting to recognize that preservation is an unnatural human desire in which an abnormal degree of gratification is linked to a particular object from the recent past…
The bittersweet ache of partial financial disclosure, the hidden truth of lackluster personal success and the yearning to be a leader – these are the touchstones of Republican primary candidate Dan Maes, who came out of nowhere and showed that he could translate the dysfunctional anger of Tea Party political…
The nine simple words of the sign posted on the Fort Logan streetlight above speak volumes. Look closely at the words. The child who made this sign was going to write “Hamsters For Sale,” but was coerced to erase and reword the sentence to read as the less exploitive “Hamsters…
Just days after his late-July entry into the Colorado 2010 governor’s race, party-switching candidate Tom Tancredo posted a plea for campaign slogans on his Facebook page. Hopefully he’s not too busy to consider this full line of campaign-season sloganeering applied to a variety of gear, including T-shirts, campaign buttons and…
A person who attempts to provoke others with outrageous come-ons is referred to as a “tease.” From his suggestion to bomb Mecca to his threat to run for Colorado governor, Tom Tancredo’s lifetime of taunts makes him the king of tees. Tee-shirts, that is. And what better time to reveal…
The proliferation of large items seen lining Denver alleys would seem to indicate that residents are just itching to complain about the lack of pickup service. Budget cuts have forced the city’s solid-waste-management department to scale back service from once every six weeks to once every nine. The money that…
Yard Arteology: The study of neighbors through their lawn decoration… After months of arcane ritual and conjuring, August is the month that reveals all. Plants at their peak have a magical way of separating the plantellectuals from the dignoramuses. Garden gurus, who were able to visualize August when looking at…
Instead of asking city departments to continue cutting their budgets due to lower tax revenues, Businessmayor® John Hickenlooper should be encouraging the entrepreneurial spirit. Asking city employees to look for ways to save money actually prevents them from providing city services. Why not create some cash flow by marketing a…
Wheat Ridge Yardivore Real Name: Jocelyn H. Chilvers; Occupation: Garden Coach; Suburb of operations: Wheat Ridge; Hair: Weeded; Eyes: Watered Suburban superhero skills: Like all Wheat Ridgers, Yardivore’s life force is augmented by art, gardening and constant garden-variety nagging. As a result, she is immune to aging and invulnerable to…
The candled cake may be the most famous birthday symbol, but birthday parties are more notable for what gets trashed. Good times will lay waste to anything that gets in its path, whether it’s gift-bearing guests, party favors or furniture. If birthday character clues can be measured by garbage content,…
Star architect Santiago Calatrava will reveal his plan for the new Fastracks/Westin Hotel/Terminal on Thursday, July 29, 2010. It is only fitting that Denver Manager of Aviation Kim Day will be throwing him a birthday party the night before, as she has consistently held a “let them eat cake” attitude…
