Dear Stoner: How can I clean my pipe without any isophoric alcohol? I can’t find it at any of my grocery stores right now.
Drex

Dear Drex: You’d think people would stop buying up hand sanitizer now that more is available — or that grocery stores would set limits, at least. But I’m still forced to buy toilet paper with branches coming out of it from health-food stores, so I understand your frustration. Alcohol is far from the only way to get your glass clean, though, and you don’t need expensive bong cleaners sold at smoke shops.

Flickr Creative Commons/David Murphy

White vinegar and coarse salt create a safe pipe-cleaning mixture and should get the job done after a little more vigorous work than if you used alcohol. Baking soda and vinegar has also proved to be an effective combination for cleaning glass, as have denture-cleaning tablets and hot water, if you live with your grandparents. Even vodka or any potent grain alcohol will work (though I can think of better uses), as will very hot water and Epsom salts. My personal non-alcohol cleaning method is PBW (powdered brewery wash). It’s cheap, safe and removes anything a lazy stoner can throw at it. I buy mine at brewery supply stores, but it’s probably easier to find online right now.

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