Dear Stoner: How can I clean my pipe without any isophoric alcohol? I can’t find it at any of my grocery stores right now.
Drex

Dear Drex: You’d think people would stop buying up hand sanitizer now that more is available — or that grocery stores would set limits, at least. But I’m still forced to buy toilet paper with branches coming out of it from health-food stores, so I understand your frustration. Alcohol is far from the only way to get your glass clean, though, and you don’t need expensive bong cleaners sold at smoke shops.

White vinegar and coarse salt create a safe pipe-cleaning mixture and should get the job done after a little more vigorous work than if you used alcohol. Baking soda and vinegar has also proved to be an effective combination for cleaning glass, as have denture-cleaning tablets and hot water, if you live with your grandparents. Even vodka or any potent grain alcohol will work (though I can think of better uses), as will very hot water and Epsom salts. My personal non-alcohol cleaning method is PBW (powdered brewery wash). It’s cheap, safe and removes anything a lazy stoner can throw at it. I buy mine at brewery supply stores, but it’s probably easier to find online right now.

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