Ask a Stoner: Why Does Dispensary Weed Suck Ass?

Ask a Stoner: Why Does Dispensary Weed Suck Ass?
Dear Stoner: Why does dispensary weed suck so much? It’s either poor-smelling, still full of nutrients or covered in pesticides.

Dear Yuck: Maybe you're going to the wrong dispensaries? I'd be a lying fuckface if I told you there were no dispensaries in Denver pushing poopy weed, using sketchy pesticides or not taking the time to flush their buds of nutrients. There's usually a reason that pot shop is selling $15 eighths of flower or $20 grams of shatter, and when your nose wants to barf after taking a whiff or the ash looks gray instead of white, you get your answer. That doesn't mean that every dispensary out there is trying to bend you over, though.

click to enlarge Finding the right dispensary can take time in Denver. - JACQUELINE COLLINS
Finding the right dispensary can take time in Denver.
Jacqueline Collins
Plenty of pot shops, both medical and recreational, take their reputations and the quality of their buds seriously — but that attention to detail almost always comes at a price. Flash deals aside, you're going to have to pay at least $30 before tax for a quality eighth. I don't blame you for dismissing those prices, or even for going back to buying bags from that weird dude up the street named Lance — but peace of mind comes at a cost.

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego