Ask a Stoner: Growing Cannabis Bonsai Trees

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Dear Stoner: Can I really grow a cannabis bonsai tree? That’d be so beautiful to look at next summer.
Dani

Dear Dani: You're not the only one interested in cannabis bonsai trees. Colorado Governor Jared Polis dove into the topic on his Facebook page last week, using it as a way to remind Coloradans about home-growing laws.

Cannabis bonsai plants are essentially born in conflict, as a bonsai is bred for longevity and small stature while cannabis is bred for yields and harvesting. In fact, some hard-core bonsai growers don’t think that cannabis is compatible with the bonsai ethos at all — but if you can forget going for a large plant and a big yield, it’s hard not to be floored by those beautifully trimmed little devils on the Internet.

Are they real? Yes, but in the same way that the beautiful pizza on a Domino’s commercial is: There’s the model, and then there’s reality.

click to enlarge

Cannabis bonsais require more disciplined training than pot plants grown for yield.

Getty/Sergio Lacueva

While cannabis bonsai plants would be difficult to grow, it is possible, according to several horticulturalists. You need to find genetics with sturdy roots and be diligent while training and manipulating the plant’s trunk so that it twists and curves. You would also need to trim the leaves routinely, but not to the point of just bare buds. There are several guides online with more detailed information. No matter which one you follow, be prepared to spend a lot of time on trial and error if you want a true cannabis bonsai and not just a small, ugly pot plant.

And yes, even a small, ugly pot plant counts as one of the six you're able to grow in your home, as Polis notes.

Send questions to [email protected].