4

Ask a Stoner: Masks Hide My Red Eyes and Hash Pen Hits

Ask a Stoner: Masks Hide My Red Eyes and Hash Pen Hits
Westword
^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Dear Stoner: I feel like masks would be a benefit for stoners. Now we can hit hash pens with more boldness in public, and red eyes don’t stand out as much. Agree?
Nigel

Dear Nigel: Covering up half of my face does distract from devilishly stoned eyes, but saving a few bucks on eye drops isn’t worth a global pandemic. Masks have also made me realize how bad my breath really is, and smoking pot plays a strong role in that. Coffee is undoubtedly the main culprit, but the dry mouth incurred by afternoon bong rips doesn’t help the journey toward minty freshness. It’s like I’ve been in a four-month conversation with my middle-school tech teacher, whose mouth was stained like a new wooden deck.

Ask a Stoner: Masks Hide My Red Eyes and Hash Pen Hits
Unsplash/Marshal Quast

Blowing out a hash pen will make my stanky mouth even stankier — and I’d stick out like a magician with a wardrobe malfunction as vapor clouds permeated the sides of my face. Based on how fun it is to breathe with a mask on, I’m sure most of us would start hacking, too. Considering I’d rather fart than cough in public right now, that’s a hard pass.

Send questions to marijuana@westword.com.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.