Regularly throughout the year, we highlight a special someone as the Schmuck of the Week.
But not all Schmucks are created equal.
Our posts about the following folks collected the most views from our Schmuck of the Week archive in 2015.
Look below for the complete original items about each member of our top five.
Count them down below.
Number 5: AMANDA DAVIS GOOGLED HOW PEOPLE GET CAUGHT AFTER ROBBING BANKS, THEN DID
June 12, 2015
When Amanda Davis Googled "how people got caught after bank robberies," we assume she did so in an effort to figure out how not to be busted.
But perhaps we're terribly wrong. Maybe she wanted to get captured after sticking up a Fort Collins bank — in which case her dream came true.
Either way, Davis is a thoroughly deserving Schmuck of the Week, owing to her sentencing this week. And we'd like to award her husband, Kody Davis, who's also headed to the Big House, a runner-up Schmuck nod for going along with his wife's cockamamie scheme.
After all, he says she talked him into it.
Facebook pages for both Amanda and Kody linger online, with plenty of snaps showing them happily posing together during a period when they were living in Texas.
Here's one example....
But according to the Fort Collins Coloradoan, recent events didn't give the couple much of an opportunity to smile.
An arrest report accessed by the paper quotes Kody as saying he was swamped by child-support payments of $3,000 per month (the couple's Facebook galleries are filled with kid shots) that forced them to live lean. And the situation got even worse on March 14, when he lost his job.
The next day, the pair picked up and headed to Colorado. One motivation was legal marijuana: Amanda is said to have treated her stomach pain with cannabis.
We don't know if the couple invested in weed as soon as they crossed the state line — but they would have been better off doing that than stopping in Black Hawk, where they reportedly lost most of the money they had left. In Denver, they could barely pay for gas.
It was then that the idea of robbing a bank popped up — and after Amanda's aforementioned Googling, they decided to target the Western States Bank in Fort Collins.
Amanda's technique involved going to a teller and handing her a note and a container that read "Take money out and put it in the bag." The teller did so to the tune of $597 — but as Davis was walking out, the Coloradoan points out, the teller yelled "The lady just took my money! I've been robbed."
Kody, behind the wheel of the couple's PT Cruiser, peeled out as soon as Amanda hopped in — but because a witness was able to ID their car, the authorities were soon in hot pursuit.
The ensuing chase crossed the Wyoming state line before Amanda and Kody were taken into custody, after driving over some spikes put out by law enforcement.
In court, Kody's attorney argued for leniency, maintaining that his client wasn't violent and the robbery was "the dumbest thing he ever did." But Kody was sentenced to four years behind bars anyhow.
And Amanda? She received a three-year sentence despite Kody's previous assertion that the robbery was her idea.
Maybe he's the bigger Schmuck after all.
Look below to see booking photos for Kody and Amanda.
Number 4: JAMES LEE PIERCE'S TEEN DREAM WAS ACTUALLY A FIFTY-SOMETHING COP
February 13, 2015
Last year, we told you about Georgia's James Lee Pierce, a convicted child molester who allegedly spent months grooming an underage teen for sex before he could round up the money for a trip to Colorado in order to get his swerve on, only to discover that the object of his repulsive desire was actually a fifty-something cop.
He's now been convicted in the case, for which he's been convicted on attempted child sex assault and more. And while jurors didn't have the option of also naming him Schmuck of the Week, we do — and thanks to details such as the ankle monitor he wore at the time of his bust, he richly deserves the honor.
As we've reported, an arrest affidavit on view below provides the background on the tale. The document notes that on December 31, 2013, Lakewood Police Department Investigator Mike Harris, assigned to the Crimes Against Children unit, was online portraying a girl younger than fifteen when he was greeted with an instant message from someone identified as "scrapbucket."
The next day, scrapbucket provided an e-mail address allegedly belonging to Pierce.
The initial conversation between Pierce and the "girl" was creepy but lacked explicit language: Sample comments included "do you like older guys" and "i like young girls like you." But the exchanges soon escalated to requests for a nude photo and remarks such as "I dont care if its against the law" and "you the only [stated age of teen] that didnt think I ws a perv."
Harris presumably did. He soon traced Pierce to a home address of 442 Morrison Camp Ground Road NE in Rome, Georgia and discovered a criminal record capable of inspiring shudders.
The affidavit notes that Pierce was arrested in 1991 for "Literal Rape, Sodomy and Child Molestation," with 7News reporting that the victim was a three-year-old boy.
Pierce was convicted of the crime the following year, earning a sentence of five years behind bars and fifteen years' worth of probation. But he violated his probation in 2006, failed to register as a sex offender in 2007 and allegedly violated probation again in late 2012. As a result, he was reportedly required to wear an ankle monitor.
Despite the presence of Pierce's tracker, he wasn't confined to his home. Indeed, Georgia law allows people in his situation to travel out of state. And in his communication with the fictional Colorado teen, he made it clear that was his plan — and he had a lot of other bad ideas, too.
The nature of the messages got progressively more explicit over time, as you'll see when you check out the affidavit. Amid references like "with you on the pill I don't need a rubber" and "I want to cover you in chocolate and whip cream" is a dubious boast about what Pierce would like to do with his "5/nd half inches."
He's also said to have sent the "girl" a photo of himself exposing his penis, as well as another shot with him "on his bed naked with him bending over with his butt up in the air showing his anus and testicles."
By early April, Pierce was trying to convince his sister to give him enough money to travel to Colorado, so he could meet with the girl. A female investigator portrayed her during a phone call with the sister and claimed to be eighteen, under alleged direction from Pierce.
The chat apparently did the trick, because on April 15, Pierce revealed that his sister had purchased Greyhound bus tickets for him, with Colorado as the destination. And he was definitely ready, noting, "I just took a testosterone booster."
He wouldn't need it. He boarded a bus in Marietta, Georgia and finally arrived in Denver on April 17. After that, he caught a cab to an address in Jefferson County — where he was taken into custody on suspicion of Internet luring of a child, Internet sexual exploitation of a child and attempted sexual assault on a child.
This week, a juror lowered the boom on Pierce four times. Counts included attempted child sex assault and Internet luring of a child with intent to exploit.
His intentions didn't turn into reality, thank goodness. But he's anointing as this week's Schmuck certainly did.
Here's a 7News item about Pierce's bust, broadcast around the time of his original arrest, followed by the arrest affidavit and a look at his complete booking photo.
Number 3: JERSEY COPS ARE SERIOUSLY ANGRY ABOUT TREY BRASHER'S LSD-LACED GUMMY BEARS
August 7, 2015
Even the experts at Schmuck of the Week headquarters find it challenging to figure out who's the schmuck in certain situations.
Example: The case of Boulder's Trey Brasher.
The 21-year-old has been arrested for, among other things, mailing gummy bears infused with LSD to New Jersey.
How big of a deal was his (to use a legal term) enterprise? Hard to tell, since a spokesman for the Egg Harbor Township Police Department in Jersey declined to tell us how many gummies and the like Brasher had shipped to the Garden State, and to how many people, citing the ongoing investigation. And Sergeant Jeff Kessler of the Boulder County Drug Task Force, which took part in the operation in Colorado, is limited in what he can say for the same reasons.
But the Egg Harbor force is definitely treating Brasher like a major drug dealer, as opposed to a club kid who got a little too enthusiastic about sharing his stash, paying big bucks to extradite him across the country to face charges.
And it's not just Egg Harbor's resources that are being utilized. An EHTPD release notes that the department's detectives worked with the Atlantic City Task Force, the New Jersey State Police and the Atlantic Country Prosecutor's Office, in addition to the Boulder County Drug Task Force.
Brasher, whose Facebook page is loaded with posts about Flume, Shpongle, STS9 and other jammy or EDM-friendly acts, allegedly shipped "LSD and other drugs from Colorado to various locations in New Jersey," prompting a joint operation that involved the task force executing a search warrant on his Boulder residence.
Inside, police are said to have recovered "LSD and LSD-laced gummy bears and chocolates, suspected MDMA (Ecstasy), Methamphetamine and psychedelic mushrooms."
As a result, Brasher was busted and installed in Boulder County Jail on $75,000 bail. But there was no need for him to get too comfortable. The EHTPD's plan involved extraditing him to New Jersey "to face charges for first-degree distribution of a controlled dangerous substance, namely LSD."
Transporting Brasher to Egg Harbor won't be cheap, adding even more cost to the law-enforcement expenditures to date.
Is this a schmucky decision? Or is it the right way to deal with a schmuck like Brasher? You be the judge.
Here's a look at Brasher's booking photo.
Number 2: WHAT METH MADE GERALD KIMBLE DO WITH A CHAINSAW AND YOGA PANTS
September 18, 2015
Have you been thinking about trying meth?
If so, there probably isn't anything we can say to talk you out of it — and we doubt more photos of emaciated meth users with rotted teeth and cadaver-quality skin will do the trick, either.
But maybe, just maybe, the story of Gerald Kimble will give you pause, since it involves a chainsaw, a weed wacker, muddy footprints, a terrified child, a pissed-off mom, yoga pants and an impressive level of meth-fueled jackassery.
At about 1 p.m. on May 5, according to Fox21, Kimble, 49, broke into a home on the 100 block of North 12th Street in Colorado Springs — and he wasn't exactly looking his best. He was reportedly covered with mud.
Inside, Kimble soon encountered a five-year-old boy, who was laying on a couch.
What to do? Shout at him, of course — which is what the Colorado Springs Gazette's account says Kimble did.
Presumably, the noise alerted the child's mom, who quickly dragged Kimble outside.
But Kimble wasn't done. He grabbed the family's weed wacker and chainsaw and proceeded to break into three more homes.
Kimble is said to have used the tools to startle residents in at least two of the other residences he entered. In addition, he also went shopping in a closet along the way, emerging clad in a T-shirt, a sweater and a pair of yoga pants.
It didn't take members of the Colorado Springs Police Department long to find Kimble, since he was leaving muddy footprints every step of the way.
But he wasn't done making trouble. After being transported to a local hospital, a police report cited by the Gazette reveals that Kimble "picked up a chair and twice hit a Colorado Springs police officer in the head with it."
What inspired all this behavior? Well, Kimble is quoted as telling a nurse he'd used meth the day before.
This week, Kimble pleaded guilty to four counts of second-degree burglary in association with his spree, which provides us with an opportunity to share his booking photos — a pair of shots that show him looking a lot older, rougher and thinner than the 2013 Facebook images seen above.
The meth weight-loss method at work again. Here are Kimble's mugs.
Number 1: FRANKIE BROWN AND IAN RUSH'S LEWD ACT BY WAFFLE HOUSE LEADS TO BIG POT BUST
December 4, 2015
As we've noted in several recent posts, marijuana use that's legal in Colorado can still lead to serious punishment in other states.
This lesson is being learned the hard way by a couple recently busted in Florida: Pensacola resident Frankie Brown and Ian Rush, from Twin Lakes, Colorado.
But the pair rose to the top of the Schmuck of the Week roster not because of their peccadillo with Colorado pot a long way from Colorado, but due to the way they were busted.
They first came to the attention of authorities because they were allegedly getting nasty in the parking lot of a Waffle House.
So nasty, apparently, that they didn't realize that kids could see them in action.
The report comes courtesy of the Madison County Sheriff's Office in Madison, Florida.
At about 11:45 p.m. on November 27, according to the MCSO, deputies were dispatched to the aforementioned Waffle House, located at 145 SE Bandit Street.
The report: "two subjects engaged in a Lewd/Lascivious act in the presence of minors."
What, exactly, was the act occupying the pair?
The report doesn't specify beyond noting that it took place inside a 2015 Subaru.
But given that the phrase "Lewd/Lascivious act" is mentioned twice more, with the key words capitalized in each citation, it must have been pretty intriguing.
Shortly thereafter, Rush and Brown were arrested — after which officers are said to have "detected the odor of marijuana" emanating from the Subaru.
At that point, the deputies deployed "Canine Max" — and in this photo, he seems really excited by what he found.
The MCSO says that assorted buds, powder, seeds, bricks and paraphernalia were located inside a back pack and a couple of tote bags.
Rush allegedly maintained that he'd picked up nine pounds of cannabis "while in Colorado." But the sheriff's office puts the actual total at 17.5 pounds.
The resulting beefs against the pair start with "Lewd/Lascivious Exhibition in the presence of a minor."
But they quickly escalate to possession of marijuana with intent to sell and smuggling a Schedule 1 narcotic into the state.
And all because the best place they could find to get frisky was the parking lot of a Waffle House.
Look below to see the booking photos of Rush and Brown.