Dear Stoner: What Can You Do With a Broken Vape Pen?

Dear Stoner: I bought a disposable hash pen, and it broke. I took it back to the dispensary (they were great about it and gave me a new one), but the budtender said I could keep my old one and use the liquid for topicals. What did he mean by that?
J Money

Dear Money: Let’s hope that one day these hash pens reach a true level of consistency; I occasionally get one that leaks, too.

You have several options with a leaky pen. If you want to vape the oil, you can buy a pen battery and refillable cartridge at a vape shop and try to siphon the oil from your disposable pen into the empty cartridge. If the budtender suggested using the liquid as a topical, he probably meant that you could mix it with something to rub on your aching joints or muscles for pain relief. The topicals you see at dispensaries are all infused with cannabis oil, which is pretty much the same stuff in your pen (without the vaping liquid), but they come in the form of balms and lotions for easy application, as rubbing hash oil on your body can get messy. However, topicals infused with cannabis oils are high in CBD, not THC. CBD doesn’t get you stoned; it’s used for sleep aid, pain relief and inflammation. So unless you bought a high-CBD pen, rubbing concentrated THC on your skin probably won’t do much more than make it glisten and smell like hash. Perfect hippie bait.

Dear Stoner: Where can I find some good ol’ brick weed? Sometimes I just want a classic four-finger bag for $20 instead of a gram of something I can’t pronounce.
Code Man

Dear Code: I can honestly say you’re the first person who’s ever broached that topic with me since I’ve lived in Colorado. Part of me wants to put you on a catapult and fling you off to the Midwest in exchange for a pothead who wouldn’t take this dank state for granted, but I suppose that’s like a beer snob scoffing at a Coors Banquet — and I hate that guy.

I haven’t seen a dispensary offering swag (mids, reggie, etc.) since at least 2011, and even then, they were disguised in pre-rolls. Your best bet for anything close to a classic dub sack is either on the street or a trim special at a dispensary. It’ll be leafier than swag, but probably just as potent, with similar quantity. And I can almost guarantee that you’ll never have to worry about someone stealing your stash.

Have a question for our Stoner? E-mail [email protected] or call the potline at 303-­293-­2222.
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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego