That's the message that Representative Lauren Boebert's ex-husband, Jayson, wants to get out to the world — and the congresswoman directly — following their widely reported fight at Miner's Claim Restaurant in Silt, which prompted a police investigation.
"I should have handled it more responsibly," he tells Westword. "I mean, look how it escalated. It turned into this big deal, and honestly, it's just two people trying to figure out, you know, how to have peace with each other and how to move forward from here. It's just unfortunate, because now it's turned into this big story. And I know it's hurt her. She's a good person; she didn't deserve that. And it just sucks when you're kind of in the spotlight that, you know, any of your family matters are in the spotlight. Anything."
Silt Police Chief Mike Kite confirms that his department — with nine people to cover a town of 3,700 — is investigating a reported domestic violence incident that took place between the Boeberts at Miner's Claim on Saturday, January 6. In text messages, Jayson allegedly told the anti-Boebert super PAC American Muckrakers that his ex-wife had punched him in the face "enough to upset" him and cause him to call the police. The two had been arguing at Miner's Claim following an incident earlier in the day when Jayson attempted to hug Lauren and talk to her after she arrived at his house to pick up one of their sons for dinner and she denied his advances. Jayson later asked to speak with Lauren in person and she agreed, choosing the restaurant as their meeting spot.
"I think I overreacted," he tells Westword of his call to police, declining to comment on whether he was actually punched. "If something happened, I'm sure we both just learn from that, and I think moving forward, things would be a lot better, a lot more professional between us."
Jayson ultimately blames himself for what happened, and for many of the things that led to the couple's demise last year. "I know to be the man Lauren needs, I would have to make some changes," he says. But he also speaks like someone who has been backed into a corner.
"There are some difficult conversations she and I still have to try to figure out to, you know, have a breakthrough and have peace," he says. "But then some of my side of some stuff, like there's just been some stories out there, which I thought weren't justified towards me. And because I never called the police [before] or did anything, and I kind of just got fed up with always losing and looking bad. And I did something I even regret more. And Lauren, she's an outstanding person. I know it's just been a lot of bad things happening to her. But she's a great person. I mean, looking back, I made a poor decision." He's referring to calling the cops on Saturday night.
An aide for Lauren Boebert tells the Daily Beast that Jayson was "being disrespectful," "being an asshole" and getting "lewd" during their meeting at Miner's Claim. According to the Daily Beast, "the alleged behavior revolted Lauren ... but that seemed to make her ex more aggressive." There was then "apparently a physical altercation of indeterminate severity," the outlet reports. The aide says Jayson "made a motion" toward his ex-wife "to grab her" and that it was "an aggressive move, not romantic." In the process of keeping him back, Lauren "put her hand in his face" and "put her hand on his nose."
Lauren and Jayson Boebert were at Miner's Claim Restaurant in Silt on Saturday night when their alleged fight occurred.
The Miner's Claim website
Asked if the aide's allegations are true, Jayson responds: "That's her story."
He recalls trying to reconcile with Lauren earlier in the day and his attempt at an embrace. "I just gave her a one-handed hug and told her I'm sorry for everything," he says. "I mean, I've hurt her, man. She didn't want this; she wants to be married. She wants to have this happy family."
Jayson says that he went into their meeting at Miner's Claim with the hope of fixing things between them, not making them worse. "I was telling her I want her back," he says. "She started bringing up some of the things that she didn't like that I have done in our relationship."
By the time the cops arrived, he adds, "we were calm. The damage was already done."
A law enforcement source confirms to Westword that when authorities got to Miner's Claim, things had indeed calmed down between the Boeberts and there was no probable cause to take either of them into custody. But that doesn't mean someone can't or won't be arrested in the days ahead.
"Things could change or come forward at a later date," says Chief Kite, adding that his department was trying to interview witnesses and obtain security footage from inside the restaurant (it was closed Sunday and Monday, he notes). "It's an active investigation."
After the altercation, random strangers showed Jason compassion, he says: "Some people invited me to come sit down with them."
The next day, Jayson began feeling angry — but also remorseful — about what had happened. "I was upset," he recalls. "I was worked up. I spent the whole day just kind of meditating over everything. Wish I had been a little bit better about it. I probably shouldn't have went down there [to Miner's Claim]."
Jayson says he called the Silt Police Department on Sunday to thank them for their service and to drop the possibility of any charges being filed. "I just wanted to tell them I appreciate everything, and if there was any charges, ask if I can have them removed," he says. "There's no injuries, there's no nothing. Just a heated conversation. ... Everyone has them."
In a statement released to Westword and other media outlets, Lauren Boebert — who last month announced she'd be leaving Colorado's 3rd Congressional District, where she was first elected in 2020, and instead running in District 4, where Republican Ken Buck is stepping down — says: "This is a sad situation for all that keeps escalating and another reason I’m moving. I didn’t punch Jayson in the face and no one was arrested. I will be consulting with my lawyer about the false claims he made against me and evaluate all of my legal options."
A source close to the congresswoman's campaign says she is "still a little startled" by what happened and dealing with the fallout as best she can.
"It's a tough situation," the source says. "She's trying to just stay close to her employees and focused on her campaign. That's her biggest focus right now, is just making sure she's representing her constituents and being a mother to her four boys and her grandson."
Lauren and Jayson Boebert have four sons together and still live outside Silt.
Lauren Boebert/Instagram
According to the source, Lauren will be flying to Washington, D.C., this afternoon, January 9, ahead of the next session of the U.S. House of Representatives. "There were a couple of important campaign events she had to attend," the source says.
If there's anything that he wants Lauren (and the public) to take from his side of the story, Jayson says, it's that he is sorry for "overreacting" and wants to bring honor back to Lauren in the end. "That's the mother of my children," Jayson notes. "There's a lot of lessons learned. I wish I spoke more life into our relationship instead of calling out things that bother me."
Last May, Lauren Boebert announced last that she was leaving Jayson after eighteen years of marriage. After she served him with papers in April, Jayson told Westword that busy schedules were a culprit in the breakup. "I work very long hours ... and I take care of our boys," he said at the time.
Lauren made more headlines in September after she and a male escort were booted from a performance of Beetlejuice at Denver's Buell Theatre. Surveillance footage showed her and a date getting frisky during the musical.
Their divorce was final this fall, but Jayson says he's still in love with Lauren: "Absolutely. We're recently divorced. I mean, we spent twenty years together. She was my everything. We were partners in everything. ... Her being in Congress is stressful; there's a lot going on, and we kind of just drifted apart over the years. But I think when I love someone, I'm going to love them regardless. You know, twenty years is a long time to be together. That's half my lifetime."
Lauren made more headlines in September after she and a male escort were booted from a performance of Beetlejuice at Denver's Buell Theatre. Surveillance footage showed her and a date getting frisky during the musical.
Their divorce was final this fall, but Jayson says he's still in love with Lauren: "Absolutely. We're recently divorced. I mean, we spent twenty years together. She was my everything. We were partners in everything. ... Her being in Congress is stressful; there's a lot going on, and we kind of just drifted apart over the years. But I think when I love someone, I'm going to love them regardless. You know, twenty years is a long time to be together. That's half my lifetime."
Until this past weekend, things had reportedly been peaceful between Lauren and Jayson in recent months. Chief Kite says that he is "not aware" of any other incidents between the two. "It's been calm," Jayson says. "I mean, [the restaurant fight] was just something that came up, really. We both, I think we both kind of blame each other for some of our hurt, and we haven't learned how to cope with that. ... I mean, it's a healing process. I don't know anyone that has perfect answers for it."
In a perfect world, Jason says, he would take Lauren back in a heartbeat. But not without first changing a lot about himself. "There would have to be incredible change, probably, to me," he says. "Communication is important. And sometimes we don't know how to communicate.""You know, a man needs respect and a woman needs love, right? That's kind of how it's written in the Bible."
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Asked what he would need to change specifically, Jayson responds: "You know, a man needs respect and a woman needs love, right? That's kind of how it's written in the Bible. I say that just to show appreciation, and sometimes I felt neglected in some of those areas. Even though the love was always still there, you know, I need words of affirmation to keep me going."
One of the primary reasons for the divorce, he says, was a lack of communication on his part when it came to expressing how he felt and being recognized.
"We drifted apart because — I don't know, she can probably answer it better — but I can tell you how I felt during it," he says, noting how his job as an energy consultant played a role. "I was working a lot of hours, pretty much 365 and then 24 hours a day because I was on call. And you know, it was a very stressful time, and she's gone a lot. I've got the boys, I've got a lot of things happening in our lives. I kind of just lost sight of what was important and the value of our relationship. And I wanted some attention for all the stuff I was trying to hold together, and I think I tried to push her to get that in return, to get that reciprocated back. Or I used words I probably shouldn't have to try and get a reaction back or basically get some attention. But I mean, that's what everyone kind of does. I know, it's childish."
Jayson adds, "I think people want some understanding, to know what they're going through and what they're doing."
He says both he and Lauren were responsible for the breakup. "You know, sometimes it's mutual," he says. "Have you ever been in a relationship where sometimes it's a cry for help, you know? It hasn't been easy. Do I think about that a lot? Like a lot of people in Congress and all that, they're everywhere. They're in D.C, they're away from their families, they're at events. It can make family life a little difficult."
Despite the circumstances, Jayson is adamant about defending Lauren and her status. "There's a lot going on. She made a hard choice [becoming a lawmaker]," he says. "I mean, even her district swap, there's a lot of good in that that people don't see. But I don't know, I just feel bad. She has a lot going on, and she is trying to do the right thing.
"I read all the headlines, and I read all the tags and everything and all the name-calling towards her," Jayson says. "She's like one of the hardest-working people I've ever been around. I mean, that's no joke. I think I'm a pretty hard worker, but she puts it in there. And then she's always done the best of her ability. And I wish people could see that, that she is out there trying. There's more to the stories. But that part bothers me a little bit reading it. You know, I mean, she's the mother of my children, and my kids are proud of her. They're very proud of her. And they know she's a hard worker. You know, there's a lot of time sacrificed, a lot of family time that's missed, you know. I mean, she's gone a lot. We average like four days a month to see each other. And, you know, the boys have to go through that, too. And I'm glad they've been able to spend holidays together and all that."
Jayson likens his relationship with Lauren to an old Irish fable about two cats who can't stop fighting, and wonders if they'd just be better off staying apart.
"She wants to move on, it's probably for the best," Jayson concludes. "You ever heard of the Kilkenny cats? It's one of those stories."
One of the primary reasons for the divorce, he says, was a lack of communication on his part when it came to expressing how he felt and being recognized.
Jayson Boebert says he still loves Lauren and has been trying to work on things with her.
Lauren Boebert/Facebook
Jayson adds, "I think people want some understanding, to know what they're going through and what they're doing."
He says both he and Lauren were responsible for the breakup. "You know, sometimes it's mutual," he says. "Have you ever been in a relationship where sometimes it's a cry for help, you know? It hasn't been easy. Do I think about that a lot? Like a lot of people in Congress and all that, they're everywhere. They're in D.C, they're away from their families, they're at events. It can make family life a little difficult."
Despite the circumstances, Jayson is adamant about defending Lauren and her status. "There's a lot going on. She made a hard choice [becoming a lawmaker]," he says. "I mean, even her district swap, there's a lot of good in that that people don't see. But I don't know, I just feel bad. She has a lot going on, and she is trying to do the right thing.
"I read all the headlines, and I read all the tags and everything and all the name-calling towards her," Jayson says. "She's like one of the hardest-working people I've ever been around. I mean, that's no joke. I think I'm a pretty hard worker, but she puts it in there. And then she's always done the best of her ability. And I wish people could see that, that she is out there trying. There's more to the stories. But that part bothers me a little bit reading it. You know, I mean, she's the mother of my children, and my kids are proud of her. They're very proud of her. And they know she's a hard worker. You know, there's a lot of time sacrificed, a lot of family time that's missed, you know. I mean, she's gone a lot. We average like four days a month to see each other. And, you know, the boys have to go through that, too. And I'm glad they've been able to spend holidays together and all that."
Jayson likens his relationship with Lauren to an old Irish fable about two cats who can't stop fighting, and wonders if they'd just be better off staying apart.
"She wants to move on, it's probably for the best," Jayson concludes. "You ever heard of the Kilkenny cats? It's one of those stories."
