Parking hell in Capitol Hill

Pay to park? Perish the thought.

Residents of Capitol Hill are patient people. We buy our milk at the liquor store, live stumbling distance from La Rumba and Dazzle, and pay high rents for buildings named after dead poets.

We also enjoy residential parking passes, which allow us to park, free of charge, on our own damn blocks -- if we can find a spot.

But in the past week, our patience has been sorely tested. It began with the Democratic National Convention, which managed to spill its hordes of party-goers all the way down past Eighth and Sherman. Maybe they were attending private soirées at Dazzle. We don’t know; we weren’t invited. All we know is that we spent most of last week circling Sherman and Grant, hoping a turn signal would appear.

Then, just as the politicians left, Sniagrab arrived. Ah yes, that lovely annual ski equipment sale, which means great deals for you and commuting hell for me. The block of Tenth Avenue near Broadway was closed, meters were out of commission, and don’t even get me started on the people who decided to camp out on the sidewalk.

Thankfully, many of us left town for Labor Day weekend, avoiding the madness entirely. But when we returned, guess what we found? Street sweeping! For heaven’s sake, did all of this really have to coincide with the first Tuesday of the month?

With only one side of Sherman legally available for parking, this prompted another storm of circling, beginning at 8 a.m. and continuing every two hours until I felt certain I would puncture the tires of the next asshole Saturn I saw taking up two spaces to parallel park.

Please, City of Denver, give us some relief! Stop being so popular with the suburbanites and let us park in peace. -- Lisa Rab

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts