Stoner MacGyver marijuana product review: Ed's Tote N' Toke pipes and dugout

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Now and then, companies send us medical marijuana-related products ranging from vaporizers to board games to books. We showcase them in our quasi-regular product review section, Stoner MacGyver.

The latest? Ed's Tote N' Toke pipes and dugout

What is it, dude? Basic Stoner MacGyver'ing at it's best: Old-school wooden smoking devices.

How much coin will it run me? That depends on what you're buying and what wood you choose. Wood-wrapped bats go for $5-$13, pipes for around the same. The exotic wood dugout, though. That'll run ya between $25 and $100 depending on how class you want to be.

Where can I get one? www.edstnt.com

Among my earliest marijuana memories was sometime around 1993 with Metal Ray and his bad-ass pipe. See, Metal Ray lived next door to a friend's house where we used to smoke dirt weed after school. He was in a band that wore Spandex and played really, really loud hair metal -- which at the time was still borderline cool, even if he did live with his mom. I don't remember how it came about, but eventually he was bumming dirt weed off of us in exchange for letting us crank up to eleven on his ridiculously huge amps.

But while pretty much everything else from back then seems radically hysterical to me in retrospect, I still recall Metal Ray's awesome pipe -- a metal one-hitter painted to look like a cigarette and a wooden "dugout" case.

To a young puffer constantly looking for ways to lessen the chances of getting caught, this was the most stealth, awesome thing on the planet. It's a fitting memory to recall in order, because to fully appreciate this week's Stoner MacGyver product, I had to set myself back to an old-school mentality. Back to the days when glass pipes meant crack and wood and brass was all the rage for the serious cannabis smoker.

The creator and founder of Ed's Tote N' Toke, Mississippi's Ed Stokes, still keeps it old school, you see. Carving out wooden pipes, dugouts and bats like the set he sent us at Stoner MacGyver.

The dugouts range in price from around $25 up to $100, depending on what wood you select. The $75 one Ed sent out is carved from Hawaiian koa wood, with grains that glisten and shine in a way that almost gives the block movement -- like water flowing over rocks in a stream. Pretty damn zen for an old hippie contraption, and certainly pricey, but that's koa wood for you. The hollowed-out inside was big enough for a Zeppelin concert-sized stash on one side, and on the other, as expected, there's a hole dug out for a cigarette-sized bat.

But not just any brass bat -- although actually, it is. But this one included a hand-carved tube, Jamaican Blue Mahoe-wrapped bat for us to test drive. The bat is more reasonable on the wallet at $12. But a bat is a bat and it burned as warm and quick as you would expect -- just the right amount to go down without coughing (so long as you don't suck the ash through). My love for the country of Jamaica aside, it clearly took some craftsmanship to carve out the dark gray colored wood to such a thin tube to fit around the pipe.

Continue to read more about Ed's Tone N' Toke pipes and dugout. Ed also sent out a $12 leopardwood "toke" pipe. Now, wooden pipes seem strange to me as a marijuana user -- but since people have been smoking out of wooden pipes for thousands of years, I'm not sure why it weirded me out so much. If anything, the metal screen that came with it is more dangerous.

The spotted pipe was about the length of my ring finger and sanded down to a matted shine. The draw hole was a little small, and I could see clogging becoming an issue if you don't keep this thing cleaned with a traditional pipe cleaner. But as a talking piece around the house, it did well. Friends who came over asked about it, and even my non-puffing wife found its simple elegance appealing.

I did some looking around, and apparently people collect wood tobacco pipes not only for their function, but for their flavor as well, like briarwood and cherry. Leopardwood isn't known so much for anything like that, but rather for its hardness, resistance to heat and beauty when polished.

All of that is awesome in the frame of old-school tokeage. But I'll be real: You glass junkies looking for the next amazing scientific technology in bubble diffusion probably have no interest and may think I'm crazy for even putting this up. (Doubt if you even read this far, for that matter.)

Frankly, I'm not going to use either the pipe or the bat very often. It's small, metal and I would rather a colorful piece of glass, regardless of how many dozens I have broken over the last fifteen years. Same goes for the wooden pipe. It's cool and I know people smoke out of everything from mahogany to corn cobs, but it is still odd to anyone who smokes really good herb out of flavorless glass pipes specifically to nerd out on the smells and tastes emanating from stored cannabis terpines. The wood pipe tasted like, well, a wood pipe. Roasting the first few bowls of Headband took some getting used to and I most certainly tasted the wood. It didn't burn harsh like I expected, but I was careful to never draw the flame down into the pipe itself.

But all that pot-snob shit aside, Ed has done an awesome job. It's easy recognize the beauty and see the skill that goes into crafting things from rare woods, and I have no problem putting stuff like this on display next to handcrafted pipes from indigenous Australians, Mexican peddlers and even an old crazy hippie in Austin who carves wooden cigar one-hitters from mesquite wood. And I know plenty of old-time puffers who would cherish something like this as a gift (might be a great way to get your pops into puffing this Father's Day, eh?) The dugout, on the other hand, will see some use from me. Upgraded with a ceramic glass one-hitter, this rugged and shatterproof all-in-one will have a home in my ski jacket along with a chunk of hash this year. Ed also makes custom wood grinders, jars and stems for Launch Box vaporizers and a few other vape pen devices. He even throws in a jar of wax to keep your wood treated.

Best of all, if Metal Ray could see this set up, he'd be jealous.

We can't guarantee all products sent in will be reviewed here at Stoner MacGyver, but if you've got something you think is the greatest invention since sliced pot-bread, send us an e-mail at marijuana@westword.com

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