Openings and Closings

Twin Peaks brings beer, ballgames and boobs to Colorado Mills

Look out, Denver. Just when you thought our restaurant scene couldn't possibly get any better, the fast-growing Texas-based company Twin Peaks -- which has previously expanded into pretty peak-less states like Kansas, Nebraska and Oklahoma -- is bringing more "scenic views" to the Rockies.

The restaurant chain will plant a location in Colorado Mills, where it will serve "crave-able and high quality comfort food," which is basically just standard bar fare like nachos, various things that are fried, burgers, steaks and the cleverly (we guess) named Mile High Club. (Don't get your hopes up; it's really just a club sandwich.)

Arguably more important to its target clientele, though, are the flat-screen televisions, draft beers and Twin Peaks' number-one asset: "the outgoing and beautiful Twin Peaks Girls," who will have their own assets on display (therefore fulfilling the aforementioned promise of scenic views).

Beers, ballgames and boobs....sound familiar? It's basically the same concept as every other shameless tit-parading sports bar out there, except wilderness-themed. And instead of wearing tank tops and orange shorts, the girls are flannel-clad. Because what's more manly than a lumberjack lodge?

The Colorado Mills Twin Peaks should open in November, and the Texas-based company promises this is just one of many locations that will hit the Denver area. In the meantime, any woman dying to put on the lumberjack gear is encouraged to audition at the restaurant's temporary office at 1746 Cole Boulevard, Suite 225, in Lakewood.

Cheers. Or better yet, bottoms up.

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Laura Shunk was Westword's restaurant critic from 2010 to 2012; she's also been food editor at the Village Voice and a dining columnist in Beijing. Her toughest assignment had her drinking ten martinis and eating ten Caesar salads over the course of 48 hours. She still drinks martinis, but remains lukewarm on Caesar salads.
Contact: Laura Shunk