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Delegating Denver #56 of #56: Wyoming

By Joe Tone

Aug 8, 2008

View larger image Wyoming Total Number of Delegates: 18 Pledged: 12 Unpledged: 6 How to Recognize a Wyoming Delegate: The majority of Wyomingites are uneducated, foul-mouthed cretins who look like toothless meth addicts out on parole. But those are just the Republicans who hate to pay taxes and abide by...

Delegating Denver #55 of #56: Wisconsin

By Cory Casciato

Aug 4, 2008

View larger image Wisconsin Total Number of Delegates: 92 Pledged: 74 Unpledged: 18 How to Recognize a Wisconsin Delegate: Across the nation, the symptoms of severe depression often include the binge-drinking of cheap beer, the over-eating of fried foods and the complete lack of interest in meeting people and learning...

Delegating Denver #54 of #56: West Virginia

By Joe Tone

Jul 28, 2008

View large image West Virginia Total Number of Delegates: 39 Pledged: 28 Unpledged: 11 How to Recognize a West Virginia Delegate: If a Sasquatch sighting is ever confirmed, it will no doubt happen in West Virginia. There already are rumors circulating that the state's governor, Joe Manchin III, is actually...

Delegating Denver #53 of 56: Washington

By Cory Casciato

Jul 21, 2008

View larger image Washington Total Number of Delegates: 97 Pledged: 78 Unpledged:19 How to Recognize a Washington Delegate: A smiling Washingtonian is more an indication of a nearby photographer than an invitation to friendship. Washingtonians will be extremely polite and helpful, but don't expect to exchange personal information. As the...

Delegating Denver #52 of 56: Virginia

By Cory Casciato

Jul 14, 2008

View larger image Virginia Total Number of Delegates: 101 Pledged: 83 Unpledged: 18 How to Recognize a Virginia Delegate: The American Civil War ended in 1865, but not for Virginians. The battles that rage daily are no longer between the Union and the Confederacy, but between the "come-heres" who move...

Delegating Denver #51 of 56: Virgin Islands

By Cory Casciato

Jul 7, 2008

View larger image Virgin Islands Total Number of Delegates: 9 Pledged: 3 Unpledged: 6 How to Recognize a Virgin Islands Delegate: Blown (way) off course during his second voyage, Christopher Columbus chose a religious theme and named this grouping of islets for the virgin handmaidens of some obscure marriage-avoiding saint...

Delegating Denver #50 of 56: Vermont

By Cory Casciato

Jun 30, 2008

View larger image Vermont Total Number of Delegates: 23 Pledged: 15 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize a Vermont Delegate: Vermont has a reputation as a haven for hippies and trust-funders, but loaded wannabes are only fooling themselves if they think they can be a Green Mountaineer simply by relocating and...

Delegating Denver #49 of 56: Utah

By Cory Casciato

Jun 23, 2008

View larger image Utah Total Number of Delegates: 29 Pledged: 23 Unpledged: 6 How to Recognize a Utah Delegate: Based on national news stories, most Americans would think it was easier to get a second wife than a second drink while visiting Utah — as if residents of the Beehive...

Texas Loves You Anyway

By Jonathan Shikes

Jun 19, 2008

Karen Brooks of the Dallas Morning News certainly isn't the first person to take umbrage with Westword cartoonist Kenny Be's point of view, especially his Delegating Denver , an online series devoted to profiling the 56 state and territory delegations. But in this case, Brooks wasn't insulted because Kenny was...

Delegating Denver #48 of 56: Texas

By Cory Casciato

Jun 17, 2008

View larger image Texas Total Number of Delegates: 228 Pledged: 193 Unpledged: 35 How to Recognize a Texas Delegate: This state may be huge and populous, but the Lone Star mystique can be summed up in the image of George W. Bush and Jessica Simpson driving a Ford F-150 pickup...

Delegating Denver #47 of 56: Tennessee

By Sean Cronin

Jun 9, 2008

View larger image Tennessee Total Number of Delegates: 85 Pledged: 68 Unpledged: 17 How to Recognize a Tennessee Delegate: There is no greater state than Tennessee. America's fascination with the Volunteer state has been nothing short of all-encompassing and everlasting. Even the derogatory jokes -- duct tape is "Tennessee chrome,"...

Delegating Denver #46 of 56: South Dakota

By Sean Cronin

Jun 2, 2008

View larger image South Dakota Total Number of Delegates: 23 Pledged: 15 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize a South Dakota Delegate: Students at Sturgis High School are known as "Scoopers," and their mascot is always pictured with a shovel. The nickname dates back to the 1880s and was coined by...

Delegating Denver #45 of 56: South Carolina

By Sean Cronin

May 26, 2008

View Larger Image South Carolina Total Number of Delegates: 54 Pledged: 45 Unpledged: 9 How to Recognize a South Carolina Delegate: The tourism slogan of "Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places" is just a poetic figure of speech for this state's ability to "grin and bear it." South Carolinians have not had...

Delegating Denver #44 of 56: Rhode Island

By Sean Cronin

May 19, 2008

View larger image Rhode Island Total Number of Delegates: 33 Pledged: 21 Unpledged: 12 How to Recognize a Rhode Island Delegate: Rhode Islanders are the third-thinnest of all U.S. residents, which is a miracle, considering that there is a Dunkin’ Donuts shop on every corner in the state. It's because...

Delegating Denver #43 of 56: Puerto Rico

By Sean Cronin

May 13, 2008

View larger image Puerto Rico Total Number of Delegates: 63 Pledged: 55 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize a Puerto Rico Delegate: Puerto Rico probably should have dumped America a long time ago, but like all sexy long-distance relationships, there have been "benefits" for both parties. Not that it has been...

Delegating Denver #42 of 56: Pennsylvania

By Sean Cronin

May 5, 2008

View larger image Pennsylvania Total Number of Delegates: 187 Pledged: 158 Unpledged: 29 How to Recognize a Pennsylvania Delegate: No state in the union suffers from poor self-esteem issues more than Pennsylvania. Quaker Staters have played pivotal roles in the history of religious freedom, civil rights and labor laws, and...

Delegating Denver #41 of 56: Oregon

By Sean Cronin

Apr 28, 2008

View larger image Oregon Total Number of Delegates: 65 Pledged: 52 Unpledged: 13 How to Recognize an Oregon Delegate: Perhaps Oregonians have made assisted suicide legal in hopes that California transplants will consider it a viable option after their first nine months of living in near-constant rain and complaint. That's...

Delegating Denver #40 of 56: Oklahoma

By Sean Cronin

Apr 21, 2008

View larger image Oklahoma Total Number of Delegates: 48 Pledged: 38 Unpledged: 10 How to Recognize an Oklahoma Delegate: Ninety-eight percent of Oklahoma's religious adherents claim to be Christian, and the vast majority of these residents identify as Evangelical Protestants. This puts Oklahoma securely in the Bible Belt. But despite...

Delegating Denver #39 of 56: Ohio

By Sean Cronin

Apr 14, 2008

View larger image Ohio Total Number of Delegates: 162 Pledged: 141 Unpledged: 21 How to Recognize an Ohio Delegate: If the state of Connecticut married the state of Kentucky, their baby would be the state of Ohio. Like no other Americans, Ohioans combine the cold-hearted industriousness of the New England...

Delegating Denver #38 of 56: North Dakota

By Sean Cronin

Apr 7, 2008

View larger image North Dakota Total Number of Delegates: 21 Pledged: 13 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize a North Dakota Delegate: After the original building burned to the ground on December 28, 1930, North Dakota’s new state capitol was designed to soar to nineteen stories and contain enough office space...

Delegating Denver by Kenny Be

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