"One Wild Ride," Adam Cayton-Holland, February 1
If Michelle Ormond is looking for sympathy, she can find it in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis." If she wants to recover from her addiction, then fine. She can start by not being a Westword cover story complete with slutty photos. I probably wouldn't be writing, however, if this cover story were an isolated incident, but it's not. Westword cover stories have degenerated into a tragic litany of paeans to fuckups, and the novelty has long since worn off. From "Baby Girl," to fashionable dirt-bag porn-mongers, to the conspicuous consumption of losers who pay idiotic prices for made-in-China sneakers, to this latest story about a lying tattooed bimbo on a fucking spree -- enough! Please stop.
Alternative newsweeklies should be an alternative to something. Westword isn't. Our media in this country have become one long, loud sustained barrage of sensational, lowbrow drek. It's like a perpetual-motion shit machine that just cranks non-stop, 24/7, without ever letting up for five minutes, and Westword has become just another incoherent, screeching voice in the cacophony. For the love of all that is even remotely tasteful, brain up already.
I'm a 23-year-old student at the University of Colorado at Denver, and I love what Adam Cayton-Holland does, so I was stoked to see that he authored the "One Wild Ride" piece. My initial reaction was to wonder what, exactly, was accomplished by shining the spotlight on this woman and her lifestyle choices. Initially, it was even offensive that Westword would devote so much space to this piece. But the more I passed by the paper around town and the more conversations I got into because of it, the more I saw my initial reaction evolving. More than just a really interesting read, this article was an objective, unfiltered presentation of this woman and her addiction. It was sad, and I would go so far as to say humanitarian to put something so taboo under the spotlight.
I didn't want to give this article the attention that Michelle Ormond is trying to get, but I broke down and read it. Please spare me! This is no woman, but a whore straight off of Colfax. She gets no sympathy from me, and I am sure many others feel the same. What does it take to get publicity and money? Just give your cooch and ass away, put a few sexual tattoos on your body, and that's what you get: a fittingly named "pass-around girl."
Did she ever think what those tats will look like when she's seventy?
Editor's note: Tracy Todd, who was quoted in "One Wild Ride," is the president of the Brief Therapy Institute (not the Grief Therapy Institute). Our apologies for the error.
"Shrinkage," Michael Roberts, February 1
In this era of trying to conserve resources, I have traditionally used the Rocky for other, old-fashioned purposes rather than discarding or burning. In this regard, I find the new Rocky a much rougher product. I think they have changed the sizing on the paper, or somehow made it annoyingly stiffer, because I find it more problematic to use.
My feedback on seeing the new Rocky went something like "You STILL can't get the damned thing folded IN HALF." It's been my main complaint with Westword, too. There's nothing more aggravating than reading a column that wraps around the fold and disappears. If the News and Westword didn't have so many good writers and (especially) cartoonists, I'd have stopped reading them long ago.
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Worst-Case Scenario, Kenny Be, January 25
Comedy is not always pretty. I do hope Dan Caplis runs for U.S. senator, as discussed in Kenny Be's "Holy Caplis!" I was one of the millions of patriotic, freedom-loving political independents who recently gave Dan's golden idol, President Bush, a good, old-fashioned "political thumping" -- and thank God, saved our Republic from the Republicans. I can hardly wait for the media to expose the thousands of hours of recorded and archived public air time of Caplis spewing his small-minded and provincial right-wing "dribble" -- and then compare it to what he'll say as a Republican candidate. That will be fun. But then again, comedy is not always pretty, is it?