Dateless in Denver: Finding Romance Is No Walk in the Park

At the start of the summer, in anticipation of all those hot times ahead, we shared a string of articles about dating in Denver, including a cover piece that explored "Why Dating in Denver Is a Dumpster Fire."

Then, because misery loves company, we introduced "Dateless in Denver," a series of reader essays on the realities of dating in Denver — the good, the bad and the ugly — that most recently shared "The Nine Kinds of Single Women You Meet in Denver." Now here's Jamie's account of how dating is no walk in the park.

I went on a date with a guy during the pandemic, so our places to meet were limited. We met at Roxborough State Park to go on a hike, since it's a pretty public place to hike that's not secluded in the mountains. Because, you know, serial killers.

Part of the trail was muddy and washed out, so we walked up and around it to the side to avoid the mud. A volunteer park ranger saw and came up to us and scolded us for not staying on the trail. I apologized and pointed out that we were just avoiding the mud and would get back on the trail. Like a normal, sane person would do.

But my date started screaming profanities in this poor old man's face. The fight escalated until they were both yelling at each other, creating a huge scene. Then my date started intentionally coughing in the man's face, which was obviously a no-no during the pandemic. I was mortified and just kept speed-walking away.

I finished the hike alone with him trailing behind me, but the ranger had called the police by this point and given them both of our descriptions. So when we got to the trailhead, there were multiple police cars waiting for us. They took us both and separated us to interview us. The officer asked if he was my husband, and I immediately dumped the whole story about how this was our first date and how absolutely mortified I was.

The officer then started laughing and asked if it was one of those dating app things and if there was any way I could leave a bad review on there for him. I really wish that were an option! We laughed and he let me go, while they detained my date. I jumped in my car and got out of there.

Then this man had the audacity to text me later to tell me that he was reporting the ranger and proceeded to try and make plans with me again, as if he was in the right. I blocked his number and deleted Hinge.

It's rough out there.
Have a dating story — good or bad — that you'd like to share? An essay on the scene in general? We'll be running another installment of "Dateless in Denver" next weekend. Send your submission to [email protected], where you can also comment on previous posts.