Speaking of which, Lighthouse youth poetry instructor J. Diego Frey, who in his more delinquent moments composes a kind of stand-up comedy haiku he calls PocketBucket Lists, will be selling small booklets of them at the fair. What are they, exactly? Here are his ground rules:
#123: The Rules Of Pocketbucket Lists
--The list is not finished until it has at least 3 items. --No judging. --Pass the pen with the list.
#124: Pocketbucket Lists (WTF???)
--Should the need arise, any list can be called upon to serve as a "bucket list." --Should one wish to have a list upon oneself at all times (just in case) keeping the list "pocket-sized" is not a bad call. --Pocketbucket, pocketbucket, pocketbucket...just say that a bunch of times
#125: Pocketbucket Lists (How To Play)
--As with any good game, this one should be played with an eye toward learning something...about the game, or about the others playing it, or about oneself, or about whatever the hell the damn list is about. --All players should completely ignore any critical voices (either internal or external) telling you that you're not good enough to play the game. --Fuck those voices! They're only useful when they're telling you that you can't reason with alligators.
Ready to bite? We think you will be, after reading a few of his favorites. You never know when you'll need sage advice on how to face your future.
Page down for more Pocketbucket Lists PocketBucket List #24421: Tourist Traps (Other Planets)
-- Neptune's methane beaches! -- the Cave of No Return on Naked Singularity 65008A -- LunaDisneyland
PocketBucket List #34529: Remaining (From the Original Pack)
-- butterscotch spacefood stick -- Don Rickles -- hope
PocketBucket List #4423: Lifestyle Tips for Not Calling Attention To Yourself
-- Dress in the colors of earth and sand. -- No hats with horns. -- Scream only when others are screaming.
PocketBucket List #8220: Tastes Like Chicken!
-- toficken -- whatever's in these frozen tacos -- "Smells like Chicken," by Calvin Klein
Page down for more Pocketbucket Lists PocketBucket List #3359: More Collective Nouns
-- a conspiracy of paranoids -- an infiltration of nose hair -- a clown-car of poets
PocketBucket List #7409: I've Been Through the _____ On a _____ with No Name
-- anchorwoman's colon, hellish camera expedition -- initiation ritual for your "social club," goat -- donut hole, tiny horse
PocketBucket List #41144: Three More Balls
-- Swedish meat -- Koosh -- Marine Corps fancy dress
PocketBucket List #943: The Dingoes Also Ate
-- my omelet -- most of the Doritos -- my brother Dan's omelet
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