If your response to the question above was not "yeah. Hell yeah!" then you are a sad soul, my friend, and your dreams have died. Because if the idea of gators in the mountains doesn't capture your imagination, pry its toothsome jaws open and wrestle it to the ground like Captain America in a judo match with a robot-Adolf Hitler that is also a zombie, then, uh... I got a little carried away with that metaphor. But understandably so, I think, because one of Colorado's most truly random attractions, Colorado Gators Reptile Park, is celebrating the birthday of one of its own tomorrow -- which means admission is free to you.

The park, which got its start as a fish farm, brought in gators to act as garbage disposals, basically, who would eat the dead fish. Over the years, the fish business declined, but a lot of people did come up to see the gators -- and though the park does still raise some tilapia, it's pretty much all about the gators now.

Boasting over 400 alligators at this point, it's fair to say that Colorado Gators is unlikely to disappoint -- especially if it's free. And if it's a bit of a drive (it's a little ways north of Alamosa, so it's a trek; get directions here), perhaps it will sweeten the deal to know that the free day is also a birthday celebration for the hilariously named Sir Chomps O' Lot, who's turning 13.

And if you happen to have an extra $100 lying around, get this: For that price, the park also offers gator-wrestling classes, where you will learn how to wrestle a 9-foot gator. For real. And then you can go home and die knowing your life was not wasted.

For more information, call 719-378-2612 or go to the Colorado Gators site.