Think Hollywood doesn’t have an agenda? Brokeback Mountain, a more socially acceptable version of Deliverance, is now sweeping awards ceremonies at which celebrities say it’s great that this story is being told, then go out and pick up twenty-something groupies so they can spend the night in front of a…
Do you ever get that feeling of impending doom? The one where the bottom drops out of your gut and you hear faint music that makes the Jaws theme sound like a lullaby? It’s the feeling you have when your significant other leaves you a hang-up message at work after…
You’d think that all sorts of things would go with beer — and you’d be right. But even the discerning beer connoisseur who swills Keystone Light recognizes that while a plethora of items and activities complement a brew, there’s still a right and a wrong way to consume the stuff…
In honor of a visit from someone who will soon fill the post of Italian Representative to the Institute of Drinking Studies — should he actually get hired here in Denver after more than one representative burst into his interview to make drinking plans for the coming weekend — we…
My New Year’s resolution is to be like U.S. Representative Tom Tancredo, only a little more conservative. I decided this after spending part of the holidays in Summit County with several million people from out-of-state who I doubt had ever sat in chairs, much less been schooled in skiing etiquette…
I believe Spanky’s Roadhouse (1800 East Evans Avenue) chose its name in hopes of generating buzz before patrons even crossed the threshold. Whenever anyone who was born at least twenty years ago hears the word “roadhouse,” he immediately thinks of the cheesy ’80s movie with Patrick Swayze and then almost…
‘Tis the season when it’s socially acceptable to act like someone who hit puberty and was given the keys to a brand-new muscle car on the same day. The culmination of this season is the office Christmas party, which rivals revealing government secrets as a foolproof way to ruin a…
1. Is it true that some religious sects observe New Year’s Day as the Feast of Christ’s Circumcision? Yes, but thankfully, not Catholics — as far as I know. (By the way, guys typically don’t remember their circumcisions because the procedure is done shortly after birth. This became standard practice…
I am pleased to announce that Hanson’s Grill & Tavern (1301 South Pearl Street) has been granted Most Favored Bar status by the Liaison for Redneck Relations. “This is my new favorite bar!” he pronounced, after showing up late with his designated-driver wife in tow and rejuvenating a crowd that…
Have you ever seen the look on someone’s face the first time he rides a roller coaster? It’s a mixture of abject fear, exhilaration and satisfaction that he has a foolproof plan for killing you in your sleep because you assured him that the roller coaster wasn’t in the least…
It’s that time of year again, when we gather with loved ones and pick at the unfinished turkey only to get yelled at by the cook. To avoid this temptation, we’ll find the sole patch of grass in a six-mile radius and start a friendly game of football that includes…
Colfax has come a long way in its revitalization, although we may see increased ratings for Johns TV after Channel 4’s recent exposé on the rub-and-tug/happy-ending industry here in town. But human nature always prevails, as it was doing when we pulled up to the Cork House (4900 East Colfax…
The recent Institute of Drinking Studies excursion to Madison, Wisconsin, had nothing to do with the much-publicized Halloween riots. I swear. We were there on an educational fact-finding mission, looking for ways to turn Denver into an even better drinking town. Of course, the foundation of any research project is…
Several members of the Institute of Drinking Studies — all definite throwbacks — met recently at a very manly and friendly throwback of a tavern, the Pub on Pearl (1101 South Pearl Street). This small bar is nestled on a corner near where Pearl Street meets I-25, conveniently close to…
The other night I ducked into Target to get some razors made of a rare metal that dulls after one shave, despite a per-ounce price that’s higher than platinum. While struggling through aisles of cheap lingerie that still grab any guy’s eye (don’t tell me you don’t look) to reach…
Has anyone seen an escaped monkey? I’ve been scouring the papers for such information since a night at Brix (3000 East Third Avenue), when the little simian that has plagued periods of my drinking career was on the loose, relieving himself in my mouth after I passed out. (I’ve heard…
We here at the Institute of Drinking Studies regard alcohol as a wonderful tool in the battle against age. With a few on board, it’s easy to recall those days when you felt invincible and even your most moronic antics seemed funny to you and occasionally a few other people…
When women get together after a long separation, their discussion seems to focus on who’s pregnant, married, divorced, cheating and/or fat. Men discuss who’s seducing their secretaries, how much money they’re making, the latest “sweet” deal they closed and who’s fat. Guys, on the other hand, pick up right where…
Denver narrowly missed a cataclysmic disaster last week. “I almost walked out of my place without my pants,” JP confessed as he clambered into the cab. We were headed toward LoDo and Above the Dove (1949 Market Street), the rooftop bar above the Soiled Dove that overlooks Coors Field. In…
When the planets align, Institute members answer that primal call to go out and get overserved — no matter what else may be going on, and no matter who drops the organizational ball. On this particular evening, it was JP and me — but our group somehow still convened at…
No one here at the Institute of Drinking Studies is dumb enough to admit that he is a virgin. In fact, I’d guess that every representative has had carnal knowledge of someone, and I’d also guess that most members are fairly prolific, if not proficient. I base this on a…
I am a big fan of Mexican culture. It’s brought us Taco Bell (a legal form of crack), sombreros for any occasion, MTV Spring Break in Cancún and uncounted Girls Gone Wild videos, as well as the Latin Representative to the Institute of Drinking Studies. But some imports from south…
