Colorado has the best summer weather that a semi-active stoner could ask for: not too hot and usually not too humid. But the Mile High City has been sweatier than a New York City subway station lately, and it’s barely mid-June. To ensure that the heat wouldn’t make me snap before July 4, I needed a heavy indica to ice me down. And I found the ultimate cool customer: Alley Cat Kush.
Good for all sorts of shady fun and nefarious activities, alleys are an underrated pathway of American culture. Alley Cat Kush is just as underappreciated, with a scrappy OG lineage that’s as sweet as they come, despite the public-school name. Not to be confused with the infamous Cat Piss — a variety of Super Silver Haze that actually smells like urine — Alley Cat Kush is an unknown cross of OG Kush, which is evident the second its zesty, earthy funk hits your nostrils.
Still, the term “alley cat” carries a slick but dangerous connotation, and Alley Cat Kush can be dangerous for anyone with a low tolerance. Its high is very amiable in low doses, taking away stress and fatigue while amping up the appetite. That friendly ascent will gradually turn into a lazy downfall, however, and the spiral will only increase after each toke. But is that a bad thing? Not during a hot, sunny stretch. A lazy river will always be my first choice for chill relaxation, but if I can’t make it to Water World, then a joint of Alley Cat Kush while sitting in my lawn chair over a sprinkler is a close second.
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Alley Cat Kush seems to be a proprietary OG cut by the Bank, the Clinic’s in-house breeder that also sells its concentrates and genetics wholesale to other dispensaries. You can find the Bank’s genetics at several dozen dispensaries in the metro area, including Lightshade, Native Roots and many mom-and-pop shops, but your best bet is the Clinic. The $38 post-tax price tag teeters on the expensive side, but the strain’s wet aroma of soil and juicy lemons makes Alley Cat Kush a must-try for any OG fan.
Looks: Standard OG color and bud structure. The calyxes are dense but segmented, leaving pebble-sized nugs susceptible to falling off stems like little coconuts. Alley Cat Kush has a hazy light-green color, with burnt-orange pistils and cloudy or amber trichomes.
Smell: A true OG derivative, Alley Cat Kush is full of earthy, wet soil notes and rubbery, musty scents reminiscent of a tennis ball. Spicy whiffs of sandalwood and zesty, tart aromas of citrus subtly round it out.
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Flavor: As expected, earthy, dank Kush flavors dominate the palate, but the strain also carries spicy, woody notes up front, hints of cloves with a skunky twist, and a zesty citrus back end that’s light but definitely noticeable.
Effects: Although labeled an indica, Alley Cat Kush’s high starts off cerebral and is good for combating daily stresses and pains without robbing users of focus. Once the munchies kick in, though, the high becomes much more visceral, soothing the body to the point of lethargy while increasing hunger. The strain’s relaxing high is good for combating anxiety, mental anguish, eating and sleeping disorders, chronic pain and headaches.
Commercial grower’s take: “I don’t know of anyone who’s growing this other than the Bank, so happy hunting finding it — but based on what I know, I’d approach it like most OG cuts out there. Be aware of powdery mildew early on, and have some strings or beams to support those buds. With any OG-heavy strain, you want to keep the temperature below 80 degrees, so it’s probably not a good idea to grow this out here during the summer. That’s why these strains are so big in California, where it’s not too hot and the humidity is low.”
Is there a strain you’d like to see profiled? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.