Why Colorado Tokers Love Grapefruit

Sign me up for the Grapefruit diet.
Sign me up for the Grapefruit diet. Herbert Fuego
Tokes in the morning don’t work for everyone, but there's nothing like a good wake-and-bake session for those of us who really enjoy it. If you can sidestep the risks of getting too high or an uncomfortable mixture of THC and coffee, starting the morning off with an adults-only bowl can make breakfast and Sunday chores that much better. Try scrubbing the bathroom floor after a bowl of Sour Diesel and you'll know what I'm talking about.

I recently decided to begin one weekend morning with Grapefruit, a sativa named after those big false-oranges that old people eat with a spoon. Most childish tastebuds aren't mature enough to appreciate the tart, bitter and acidic flavors of grapefruits. My tastebuds were no exception: Grapefruits and grapefruit juice were much too potent for me until I started drinking tequila and appreciating the fruit's bitterness. Although similarly stiff on the senses, the Grapefruit strain is much easier for the uninitiated to appreciate.

A cross of Cinderella 99 and a Thai sativa, Grapefruit was like the Tangie of its day, especially during its peak in the early 2000s. The strain's stark citrus flavor has more sour, acidic notes than most sugary, orange-flavored strains, and its zesty back end is distinct from other sour fruits like lemons and limes. That trademark sour flavor is almost like a chaser after each hit, cutting out the earthy, ashy flavors that come with smoking weed.

Grapefruit can be a little too racy to be a real feel-good sativa, and it’s most effective in small doses.
Unfortunately for wake-and-bakers, it’s not as popular as it once was: The Joint, Mighty Tree and Green Cross of Cherry Creek are the only stores I’ve found that currently carry it.

Looks: Typically packaged in football- and cone-shaped buds, Grapefruit’s nugs have fluffy calyxes despite their round shape, so don't expect anything too dense. Its light-green color is occasionally complemented by a purple hue and a heavy amount of peach-colored pistils.

Smell: Not surprisingly, Grapefruit's aroma is virtually all citrus. The sour grapefruit notes pinch the nostrils with an acidic burst that makes your mouth water. A zesty blend of earthy and skunky scents is subtle but definitely there.

Flavor: The taste is only as strong as the smell in well-grown specimens or concentrate form, but the strain still carries vivid flavors of grapefruit. Sour, juicy and acidic flavors attack the tastebuds and sides of the tongue, rounded out by a dirty, spicy tea-like flavor.

Effects: Grapefruit's sativa effects aren't perfect, but they're easier to predict than those of many newer strains. Euphoric, creative energy is almost instant, which is great for relieving stress and minor mental anguish; it’s also perfect for daytime use and pre-gaming if not overdone. Anxiety and dry mouth are common side effects, though, as is loss of focus.

Commercial grower's take: “Grapefruit's a short little plant and its buds aren't very heavy, so don't expect it to yield much. That's usually why you'll see this on the top shelf or priced more expensively — not that it isn't an exceptional strain if you like citrus sativas. It can be harvested anywhere from sixty to seventy days depending on your feeding and flushing cycles — the longer the better, obviously — but most cuts will flower really fast if you've got real Grapefruit genetics.”

Home grower's take: “My friends and I loved this strain about ten years ago, when it was pretty easy to find in growing circles and medical dispensaries on the Front Range. The yield is just okay, but it doesn't need to stretch much and is ready to flower really fast, so you can harvest it in just over two months after getting clones. Perfect morning strain for me: It pumps you up, and its side effects keep you honest, so you can't smoke too much."

Is there a strain you'd like to see profiled? Email [email protected]
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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego