Help: I Haven't Smoked Weed for Months, but Still Test Positive for THC

Dear Stoner: I haven't smoked weed for three months and am still testing positive with pee tests. I have a work-related drug test coming up in another two or three weeks. Will I ever be in the clear?
Ash Tray

Dear Ash Tray: You must have smoked as much weed as I do, maybe even more. Unless someone is slipping weed oil into your food, the only way that THC stays in the system for so long is from heavy and consistent cannabis use. Because THC binds to fat cells, even occasional users can test positive for up to a month or so. But if your fat calls and blood have been saturated with cannabinoids from daily or semi-daily use over a multi-year span, then THC could very well remain in your urine for three months or more. It sounds like you're nearing the end of that timeline as the drug test nears, so you should still be proactive with cleansing — or thinking about buying synthetic urine.
Exercise, hydration and healthy eating usually speed up the cleansing process, but be wary of detoxification kits and street remedies. Most labs can tell if your urine sample is diluted, too, so chugging a bunch of water or cranberry juice beforehand might still get you in trouble. Keep testing yourself at home and living a clean lifestyle, but consider synthetic urine, available at most head shops and online, if the THC is still in your system. Synthetic urine brings its own set of challenges, especially if they monitor while you pee, but at least the pH levels will be correct.

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