Marijuana

Merry Loudmas: Let's Make a Ganjabread House

Have yourself a very stanky Christmas with this hash- and weed-infused ganjabread house (smoking chimney optional).
Have yourself a very stanky Christmas with this hash- and weed-infused ganjabread house (smoking chimney optional). Lauren Antonoff
Building gingerbread houses in elementary school usually involved fastening stale cookies to a milk carton, gluing some gumdrops and mints onto your uneven shack with frosting, and watching Frosty the Snowman for the 23rd time. Wasn't it the best?

Forgetting the fun, childlike traditions of the holidays is a quick way to become a Grinch. In an effort to preserve the holiday spirit during such tough times, we decided to infuse a gingerbread house with about as much weed as we could.

There are two ways to approach this — or three, if you have enough money and really want to be home for Christmas this year: Infuse the gingerbread, decorate a normal gingerbread house with edibles, or both. Check out our ganjabread building effort below. Merry Loudmas!

click to enlarge Sugar, flour, ginger, nutmeg, salt, cinnamon, molasses, shortening and cannabis are all you need for easy ganjabread. - LAUREN ANTONOFF
Sugar, flour, ginger, nutmeg, salt, cinnamon, molasses, shortening and cannabis are all you need for easy ganjabread.
Lauren Antonoff
Infused gingerbread
Making infused gingerbread is essentially like making regular gingerbread, but unlike most baked treats, gingerbread calls for vegetable shortening instead of butter or vegetable oil. Not to worry: Although a little stickier than butter and thicker than oil, shortening is still full of fat and can be easily infused using the same method you use to infuse butter — melt the shortening, add your cannabis (we used 3.5 grams), cook on low, and then strain. After that's done, your gingerbread recipe should comprise these ingredients.


click to enlarge Stoned tip: don't leave your computer near flour. - LAUREN ANTONOFF
Stoned tip: don't leave your computer near flour.
Lauren Antonoff
Making the House
Knead that weed dough, baby. Throw some flour on a clean counter top, cut the dough into roof and wall pieces, and roll your ganjabread into one-inch-thick pieces. And make some backups. You'll need ’em.

click to enlarge Make sure your infused sweets aren't around any kids. - LAUREN ANTONOFF
Make sure your infused sweets aren't around any kids.
Lauren Antonoff
Building
Most dispensaries have many options for outdoor home decor (telling the budtender about your weed-infused blueprint only makes the selection process better), including chocolate bars, gummies, mints, lollipops, baklava bits and more. We went with a chocolate bar, gummies, suckers and infused stroopwafels, as well as some buds and a joint for ornamental purposes.

click to enlarge We laid extra tile on the roof, to prevent spring hail damage. - LAUREN ANTONOFF
We laid extra tile on the roof, to prevent spring hail damage.
Lauren Antonoff

Decorating
Just make sure you have enough frosting to cement the decorations, and caulk away. Lollipops were obvious trees, while the stroopwafels made great cottage tiles.

click to enlarge Lollipop trees and weed nugs: a stoner's dream garden. - LAUREN ANTONOFF
Lollipop trees and weed nugs: a stoner's dream garden.
Lauren Antonoff
Gummies, cookies and chocolate bar squares are all very versatile and well-suited for baked imaginations. We cut up the gummies for windows, lawn ornaments and lollipop tree holders, and used the chocolate bar squares as a door and lawn tiles. If you're flush with buds, why not add a little shrubbery to your winter getaway? And don't forget a chimney.

click to enlarge Every winter cottage needs a chimney. - LAUREN ANTONOFF
Every winter cottage needs a chimney.
Lauren Antonoff
Between the ganjabread and all the edible decorations, our house wound up containing around 800 milligrams. If yours winds up about the same, remember to destroy your work slowly.
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Lauren Antonoff is a Denver native dedicated to telling Colorado stories. She loves all things multi-media, and can often be found tinkering in digital collage. She joined the Westword team in 2019, where she serves as the Audience Engagement Editor — connecting people, ideas, and the stories that matter.
Contact: Lauren Antonoff
Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego